Woman: So if you’ve never done it before, it’s going to hurt the first time and maybe even bleed a bit.
Man: Uh huh.
Woman: So don’t be afraid. You should try it. It’s definitely worth it.
Other people in elevator shuffle uncomfortably.
Woman: Um…So flossing is crucial to good dental hygiene.
Elevator
Houston, Texas
CSR on phone: May I speak with Ellen*?
Other line: Who?
CSR on phone: Ellen.
Other line: Ellen? This is a fire station. It doesn’t ring a bell.
14610 IH 10 West
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: kelynsh
Male coworker, pointing at big sweater: This is Irish!
Female Irish-American coworker, pointing at crotch: So is this!
Male coworker: Because it’s freckly and smells like Guinness?
Austin, Texas
Co-worker on phone: Oh, man…Yeah, if you have HIV, you should definately stay home…Okay, see ya Monday.
Co-worker #2: So who has the HIV?
Co-worker #1: Oh, [Paul]’s got the flu and strep or something.
2300 West Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Lauren
Male worker filling out stack of forms: So, your address is the same?
Female worker, giving info: Yeah… I haven’t moved since we filled out the last form.
San Antonio, Texas
Cube chick: You should go in Jeff’s office -it is so cold in there you could hang meat.
Cube dude: I hang meat everywhere I go.
Dallas, Texas
Mental patient #1: I like oxygen.
Mental patient #2: Me too.
Mental patient #1: Do you have any M&Ms?
Mental patient #2: No, do you?
Mental patient #1: No. I just thought I'd ask.
Wichita Falls, Texas
Overheard by: I love my job
Functionally retarded janitor: This job really needs some strippers.
Engineer: You could get a night job at a strip club.
Functionally retarded janitor: But those places fire you when you try to touch the girls.
Senlac Drive
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: This Company Needs to Do Better Background Checks
Mother: Tell your aunt what you want to be when you grow up.
2-Year-Old son: A plastic surgeon!
Mother: And why is that?
2-Year-Old son: Because Mommy needs work!
Miss Saigon Café
Hurst, Texas
Overheard by: needo
Coworker: I should ask Mary if I could trade my pink one for her white one.
Richardson, Texas
