Reporter, explaining “executive session” privilege to another: The mayor could fuck a donkey in executive session, and they wouldn't have to tell me. But if she does it in the regular session, I'll be all over it.
Weatherford, Texas
Overheard by: Roxie
Senior: Isn’t “Butternut Bread” a brand? I know there is Mrs Baird’s, Iron Kids… Sunbeam…
Intern: Oh, there’s a strip club around here with a one-armed stripper named Sunbeam… But we call her “Nub”.
Senior: [Silence.]
Houston, Texas
Male worker: There’s already been a killing over a PlayStation 3.
Female worker who waited in line but didn’t get one: Well, at least he got to play it for a while!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: The Temp
Project manager on phone: You're right. That is what he wants. He wants a soft opening.
Austin, Texas
Secretary to assistant: Yeah, I went through my lesbian phase, but I could never go back to women ’cause I like giving blowjobs too much!
4400 Burnet Road
Austin, Texas
Branch manager: Maybe it's a seeing eye goat!
Brownsville, Texas
Female coworker: If I don’t get into law school, I’ll just get knocked-up and be a house wife. I call it ‘Plan B.’
910 Louisiana Street
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: I need a backup plan like that
Voice on PA: Attention, Barnes and Noble shoppers, will the customer looking for the ‘Bataan Death March’ please come to the Children’s Department? Thank you.
Southlake, Texas
Reporter #1: Did I just hear that someone got bit by a cow on the scanner?
Reporter #2: It’s possible. Some of them have really bad attitudes.
101 Avenue A
Conroe, Texas
Overheard by: Catherine
Worker #1: Hey boss, this safe is over 7 feet tall!
Boss: Oh, geez!
(calls worker #2 over)
He's saying the safe is over 7 feet tall. Do you went to measure it? Why did you tell me it was less than 5 feet?
Worker #2: Well, when I went to check it I could stand inside it and I'm 5'2″
Nederland, Texas
