A&R girl to boss: Um… Did you really mean this bill to say “quarterly screwing”?
Nacogdoches, Texas
Overheard by: underling
A&R girl to boss: Um… Did you really mean this bill to say “quarterly screwing”?
Nacogdoches, Texas
Overheard by: underling
Large lesbo on cell: What’s new with me? Oh, nothing too much. Oh wait — yeah, I got a new dog! Yeah, another one. Well, my neighbor was killed in a murder-suicide with her boyfriend, so the dog had post-traumatic stress disorder. Oh, it’s a Irish Settler. It’s pretty cute… A little overweight, though. Besides that, not too much. You know me — work, work, work.
Marriot Hotel Concierge VIP room
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Miguelito Morrison
IT drone to coworker: They're being invaded by blackberries, papayas and pygmy goats.
Coworker: Wow, that's rough. I've heard that that's a problem.
IT drone: Yeah, the goats especially.
Austin, Texas
Worker bee #1: I’ve never had a Hungry Man meal before.
Worker bee #2: It’s not bad. Just don’t pretend you’re eating real food.
Austin, Texas
Visiting VIP to local subordinate: I'm gonna go back to the hotel and take a shower. Tell your wife I'll be thinking of her.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: shazmataz
Lady in break room: I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I had gone out to my backyard, dug up my dog and took off its head and put it on my mantle.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Rob
Teacher: This is David from Israel. Do you have any questions for David?
Senior student: Yes. Do you have air conditioning in your tents?
High School
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: IsraeliTexan
Cubicle dweller to colleague: Let just ignore for a moment the fact that the data is all screwed.
Colleague: It's a rather unorthodox way of looking at it…
Austin, Texas
Boss from other room: The most expensive coffee in the world, and…
Database monkey, yelling: Is that the kind that's shat out by monkeys?
Boss: No, leopards!
Austin, Texas
Worker bee: Will this be in Canadian or English?
100 Centre Drive
Austin, Texas
