Voice on PA: Attention, Barnes and Noble shoppers, will the customer looking for the ‘Bataan Death March’ please come to the Children’s Department? Thank you.
Southlake, Texas
Voice on PA: Attention, Barnes and Noble shoppers, will the customer looking for the ‘Bataan Death March’ please come to the Children’s Department? Thank you.
Southlake, Texas
Reporter #1: Did I just hear that someone got bit by a cow on the scanner?
Reporter #2: It’s possible. Some of them have really bad attitudes.
101 Avenue A
Conroe, Texas
Overheard by: Catherine
Worker #1: Hey boss, this safe is over 7 feet tall!
Boss: Oh, geez!
(calls worker #2 over)
He's saying the safe is over 7 feet tall. Do you went to measure it? Why did you tell me it was less than 5 feet?
Worker #2: Well, when I went to check it I could stand inside it and I'm 5'2″
Nederland, Texas
Female suit to another: I don't mind the dude with extra fingers making my tamales.
Victoria, Texas
Photographer: Anyone have a top hat in the building? How about a riding crop? If you do, please let me know. I won’t tell anyone.
508 Young Street
Dallas, Texas
A&R girl to boss: Um… Did you really mean this bill to say “quarterly screwing”?
Nacogdoches, Texas
Overheard by: underling
Large lesbo on cell: What’s new with me? Oh, nothing too much. Oh wait — yeah, I got a new dog! Yeah, another one. Well, my neighbor was killed in a murder-suicide with her boyfriend, so the dog had post-traumatic stress disorder. Oh, it’s a Irish Settler. It’s pretty cute… A little overweight, though. Besides that, not too much. You know me — work, work, work.
Marriot Hotel Concierge VIP room
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Miguelito Morrison
IT drone to coworker: They're being invaded by blackberries, papayas and pygmy goats.
Coworker: Wow, that's rough. I've heard that that's a problem.
IT drone: Yeah, the goats especially.
Austin, Texas
Worker bee #1: I’ve never had a Hungry Man meal before.
Worker bee #2: It’s not bad. Just don’t pretend you’re eating real food.
Austin, Texas
Visiting VIP to local subordinate: I'm gonna go back to the hotel and take a shower. Tell your wife I'll be thinking of her.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: shazmataz
