Computer tech, trying to remove picture of very well endowed naked man off computer: Well, I don't know how to get him off.
Vermont
Computer tech, trying to remove picture of very well endowed naked man off computer: Well, I don't know how to get him off.
Vermont
Analyst to lackey: I don't think it makes any sense to run around playing “battleship” with analysts' Outlook calendars.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rachael
Technician: Enter the password the Linksys tech gave you.
Customer: He told me to enter whatever I wanted for the password.
Technician: You don't just make up your own passwords. I don't know what that tech was smoking!
Kingston
Canadia
Caller: I just arrived at my lake house for the summer, and the satellite TV isn’t working! Why is it off?!
CSR: Sir, please stay calm. It’s simple: we just need to reset your receiver since you’ve been away for a while.
Caller: How long will that take?
CSR: It’s easy, sir. Do you have a potato handy?
Caller: Um, let me see… [Pause] Yes, we just picked some up at the store on our way in — stocking up.
CSR: Great, sir. An apple would also work. Now, what I need you to do is to cut that potato in half. Then I need you place one half of the potato face-down on top of your receiver. Please make sure it’s dry.
Caller: What?
CSR: Trust me, sir, I’m a professional. We’ll have your service back on in no time.
Caller: Okay… [Long pause] Alright, done. Now what?
CSR: Great, sir. The potato will act upon your receiver’s magnetic field and will bring the service back online momentarily. It’s a built-in security feature so that no one can use your dish while you’re away for most of the year.
CSR presses service reset button, remote satellite transmits ‘wake up’ signal to inactive receiver, TV comes on.
Caller: That’s amazing! Who’d have thought… a potato! Will this work every time?
CSR: Just give us a call if you have any problems in the future, and thank you for using this service.
Bradford Drive
Huntsville, Alabama
Panicky mouse user: I have to clean my ball with Isowipes once a week, because it’s absolutely filthy!
54 Park Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Al
Copier Technician: Sir, your software isn’t compatible with this machine. It’s outdated.
Offie Manager: Well, the sales guy promised it would work.
Copier Technician: Did you try it out before you bought it?
Office Manager: No, I trusted the sales guy that it would do what he said it would do.
Copier Technician: Well, this isn’t the first time you’ve dealt with a sales person, is it? When I make a significant purchase, I try it before I sign the contract.
Office Manager: How you ever going to get married, son?
Copier Technician: Sorry?
Office Manager: I said how you ever going to get married?
Copier Technician: I am married, sir.
Office Manager: Well, did you try out your wife before you got married?
Copier Technician: What?
310 Dorla Court
Zephyr Cove, Nevada
Peon: Hey, I can't look at our webpage without the browser crashing.
IT manager: Which browser?
Peon: Ff 4.
IT manager: What?
Peon: Firefox 4.
IT manager: What's a Firefox?
Peon: Uh, let's pretend I said IE.
South Morang
Australia
Boss: Why do you have a new BlackBerry?
Salesperson: Because I am awesome.
Boss: You don't even know how to use it, do you?
Salesperson: Uh… No.
Augusta, Georgia
Boss: Hey, Joan*.
Admin: Hey, Darren*.
Boss: How's the new pooter?
Brooklyn Center, Minnesota
Manager: How is your monitor? It's not very old, right?
Cubicle chick: It works, yeah.
Manager: I'm going to get everyone flat screens eventually, but I'm going to do it two or three at a time.
Cubicle chick: Awesome!
Manager: But yours looks pretty good for now.
Cubicle chick: I can break it if you want me to.
Manager: I'd rather…. you didn't.
Cubicle chick: Gotcha.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
