Elevator geek: An IUD is not a weapon. It's a contraceptive.
Elevator cougar: Depends on who you ask.
Portland, Oregon
Elevator geek: An IUD is not a weapon. It's a contraceptive.
Elevator cougar: Depends on who you ask.
Portland, Oregon
Manager: Since most of these are not used, let’s go through and upgrade those first, then we’ll see what’s left.
Programmer: If they’re not used, we don’t need to upgrade them, right?
Manager: Right, but we need to figure out which ones are used.
Programmer: Can’t we figure that out by eliminating the ones that aren’t used without upgrading them?
Manager: No, we need to upgrade the obsolete programs first.
580 Walnut Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Cubicle dweller #1: John* needs to talk to you.
Cubicle dweller #2: Just give him my IM.
Cubicle dweller #1: He just wants you to reply to his e-mail, did you read his e-mail?
Cubicle dweller #2: No, I just got here.
Cubicle dweller #1: Why didn't you read it?
Cubicle dweller #2: I just got here! I just got here! I just got here, man.
Cubicle dweller #1, mumbling: I just got here, why do you got to look at me like I'm a fucking idiot.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl who cannot hear
Guy: My computer keeps freezing.
Girl: It’s not freezing, it’s hot in here.
135 E. 57th Street
New York, NY
General Manager: I have an email problem, I need you to answer a question…Do I have to use all lowercase Ls here? Can’t I use 1s? They look like 1s.
IT: No! You have to use Ls! That is how e-mail works! It’s an address that you have to get right!
General Manager: It’s hard to tell if it is an L or a 1.
IT: Well yes, but from context clues, the email says, “Little Girl.”
General Manager: Well you know what they say about assuming. Makes an ass…you…me.
13601 FM 529 Road
Houston, Texas
IT staff to engineer on phone: If you follow the document I sent you, you will be able to complete the web page.
Engineer: I can't read.
Silicon Valley, California
Customer on speakerphone about SUN Microsystems software: … And powered by the sun, eh? [Pause] Oh, wait, but I don’t have much daylight in my apartment…
7795 West Flagler Street
Miami, Florida
Computer tech, trying to remove picture of very well endowed naked man off computer: Well, I don't know how to get him off.
Vermont
Analyst to lackey: I don't think it makes any sense to run around playing “battleship” with analysts' Outlook calendars.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rachael
Technician: Enter the password the Linksys tech gave you.
Customer: He told me to enter whatever I wanted for the password.
Technician: You don't just make up your own passwords. I don't know what that tech was smoking!
Kingston
Canadia
