Purchasing: Hey, can we print from Word?
Marketing: Ah…What?
2801 Red Lion Road
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Purchasing: Hey, can we print from Word?
Marketing: Ah…What?
2801 Red Lion Road
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Real estate agent #1: My son is teaching himself how to play guitar! He's getting real good!
Real estate agent #2: That's great! What's he using?
Real estate agent #1: This program called Guitar Hero.
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: JMB
Receptionist: So this guy calls for [Kyle]…I give him the voice mail. I knew the next ring would be him…he calls back. “I’m trying to get ahold of [Kyle] and I keep getting an answer machine.”…Gah!…That’s what happens when we pay 10K for a phone
system so people get their messages. So then the prick is like, “So is he there or isn’t he?” And so I’m like, “Yes sir, I realize
that you keep getting his voicemail. He is with a client, and all
messages go straight to our agents via voicemail.” And he’s like,
“Well, I don’t want to leave a damn message, you tell [him and
his wife] they just lost out on a sale! I guess they’re too busy
for me!” So then I’m all kiss-ass and like, “Well, I’m sorry sir, they are both with clients at the moment. We are a busy office. Would you like me to take a message?” And then he tells me, “No, just never mind and it’s their loss.” I hate stupid people.
Assistant: Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for
anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push
them down a flight of stairs.
M-28 East
Munising, Michigan
Customer, trying to use his debit card: I gotta push “English”? “Spanish” shouldn’t be an option. If they can’t speak no English, they ain’t got no business being here. Where’s the “yes” button at?
Cashier: It’s the button that says “yes” on it.
Food Lion
Roanoke, Virginia
Co-worker #1: What is a good exercise for the lower abs?
Co-worker #2: Well, I can think of one exercise that’s really good for the abs…
Co-worker #3: yeah, but only if he can last longer than 5 minutes.
The copy repairman pops out from under the copier.
Repairman: Well ladies, it’s been an entertaining afternoon.
8565 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway
Portland, Oregon
Intern: So, why aren't people making a big deal about the Mars Lander?
Busy office worker: I don't know.
Intern: Do you know many people who are on board?
Indiana
Co-worker #1: So do you think the developers can hit this target?
Co-worker #2: I mean the bar is so low how can they not?
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I suppose even people in the Special Olympics can make it over this one.
10866 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Bored tech guy: Can I help you?
Bimbette: Yeah, um, I need an update on my anti-Semitic virus program.
Bored tech guy: You mean ‘Symantec’?
Bimbette: Yeah, that’s what I said — anti-Semitic.
Quinnipiac University
Hamden, Connecticut
Secretary: If we fax something to someone, and our machine is out of ink, will they still get it?
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Reception
Caller: I can’t seem to log into my account.
CS rep: Have you entered your username and password into the login fields?
Caller: Yes, I have.
CS rep: Okay now press the enter key.
Caller: Where’s the enter key?
Earthlink Customer Service
San Jose, California
