Telecom guy: Hi, I’m here to fix [Barry]’s phone
[Larry]: It’s [Larry], actually.
Telecom guy: Whatever.
International Broadcast Center
via Nizza
Torino, Italy
Overheard by: jk
Telecom guy: Hi, I’m here to fix [Barry]’s phone
[Larry]: It’s [Larry], actually.
Telecom guy: Whatever.
International Broadcast Center
via Nizza
Torino, Italy
Overheard by: jk
User: We want a tutorial on the website’s front page so we know how to use the website.
Tech: Well, from the front page, you just click on “Help”…
User: Yes, but we want the instructions themselves on the front page.
Tech: I’m sorry, no. The user’s only allowed to be so stupid here. They can click on the help button.
User: Oh, okay!
695 Palmer Drive
Raleigh, North Carolina
IT techie working on networking junk: Uh-oh. I ain't communicatin' good.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: I noticed…
IT drone to coworker: They're being invaded by blackberries, papayas and pygmy goats.
Coworker: Wow, that's rough. I've heard that that's a problem.
IT drone: Yeah, the goats especially.
Austin, Texas
Obnoxious 20-something IT guy to another: Oh, look, here's another set with cats as the background, aren't they just adorable?
Middle-aged librarian lady, overhearing: Da Vinci drew those cats. (pause) And they'll rip your fucking head off.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: marion the other librarian
Exec: I'm having problems receiving e-mail.
IT guy: It's the IMAP you are using. It's not compatible with the settings that you have in your program.
Exec: This is unacceptable. I want you to call IMAP and get this resolved immediately!
IT guy: I can't.
Exec: Why can't you do this?
IT guy: Because IMAP is out to lunch with HTTP.
Los Angeles, California
IT guy: Your laptop is not booting up because you have a stuck function key. What happened, anyway?
Rep (refusing to make eye contact): Yeah, I … uhhh, think I dropped something on it.
It guy: Like what?!
Rep: Ummm yeah, well, like my fist.
Fern Valley Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Tech guy: You know, I was thinking the other day — you know how when these terrorists die, they think they’re getting, like, 40 virgins? Well, it occurred to me that the only virgins up there will be all these 80-something-year-old nuns…
Corporate Drive
Orangeburg, New York
Overheard by: amused temp
Programmer: I'm amazed that even now, you feel the need to keep on sucking.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Jr. Developer: What we need is an alien invasion.
Deveveloper #11: We have one. Mexicans.
Jr. Developer: [sigh] What we need is an extraterrestrial alien invasion.
Developer #2: Boy, you sure have it out for the aliens.
Developer #1: I can’t help it. I’m a xenophobe.
Jr. Developer: The whole world is xenophobic. We need the extraterrestrial invasion in order to unite the globe and to make us stop fighting amongst ourselves.
Developer #1: Until after they left.
Jr. Developer: No, because they came from space, there could always be more of them. As paranoid humans, we have to hunt them down and exterminate them all in order to protect ourselves.
Pause
Jr. Developer: Besides, they might have oil.
501 Corporate Centre Drive
Franklin, Tennessee
Overheard by: Brian
