Actually, That’s What Happened to My Ankles

Sales guy: How can you sit like that? It’s disgusting.
Information specialist: I have weak ankles. I’m sorry I disgust you.
Sales guy: You don’t disgust me, just the way you sit. Besides, you’re always making fun of my women.
Information specialist: Say, do you have one of those auto-lifts in your bedroom?
Sales guy: I see what you’re saying. Because I like big women.
Information specialist: I mean, in case you get pinned or something.
Sales guy: Funny thing is, I know how to maneuver one of those, from a previous job.
Information specialist: I’ll take that as a yes.

Washington DC

Posted on August 8, 2015
Body Parts, Comebacks, Diet & Weight, Gripes, Insults, Sales, Tech People, Violence, Washington DC

The Afternoon Seems Endless When You Drink at Lunch

Tech support engineer: I can’t believe I have pants on!

Rt. 1
Ipswich, Massachusetts

Posted on August 6, 2015
Clothes, Default, Engineers, Massachusetts, Tech People, Weirdness

Wisconsin Has Two Married IT Guys?

IT guy #1, checking on slow response time: You getting any? [time]IT guy #2: Nope, I'm married too.

Brookfield, Wisconsin

Posted on August 3, 2015
Questions, Sexuality, Tech People, Technology, Wisconsin

Just Before the Office Exploded

IT guy #1: Is that you beeping?
IT guy #2: No, I thought it was you.
IT guy #3: Fucking things, stop beeping!

Palmerston North
New Zealand

Posted on August 2, 2015
Insults, New Zealand, Questions, Tech People, Technology

11AM Invent Colorizing Copier

Office Tech: I don’t understand why this isn’t coming out in color. I’m using the color copier.

700 State Drive
Los Angeles, California

Posted on August 1, 2015
California, General Idiocy, Tech People, Technology

On the Plus Side, the Office Smells Like Mom's Chicken Soup

IT guy on phone: Yeah, we had to let Sam* go this weekend. (pause) Yeah, the server's fixed. (pause) Uh, it's sort of weird. (pause) Yeah, well… He was on call rotation and got called in. He was high. (pause) He brought ten packs of pasta noodles with him, and jammed each noodle into the mail server intake fan. (pause) Something like that. He said the sound the noodles made against the Delta fans was the sound of the Microsoft demons being cast from the server. (pause) He managed to fill the server case with noodle shrapnel, which made the system overheat. (pause) How would I know if he successfully cast the demons from the server? (pause) No, it's still booting server 2008, if that's what you mean.

Winnipeg
Canadia