Office Tech: I don’t understand why this isn’t coming out in color. I’m using the color copier.
700 State Drive
Los Angeles, California
Office Tech: I don’t understand why this isn’t coming out in color. I’m using the color copier.
700 State Drive
Los Angeles, California
IT guy on phone: Yeah, we had to let Sam* go this weekend. (pause) Yeah, the server's fixed. (pause) Uh, it's sort of weird. (pause) Yeah, well… He was on call rotation and got called in. He was high. (pause) He brought ten packs of pasta noodles with him, and jammed each noodle into the mail server intake fan. (pause) Something like that. He said the sound the noodles made against the Delta fans was the sound of the Microsoft demons being cast from the server. (pause) He managed to fill the server case with noodle shrapnel, which made the system overheat. (pause) How would I know if he successfully cast the demons from the server? (pause) No, it's still booting server 2008, if that's what you mean.
Winnipeg
Canadia
Tech guy on phone: It doesn't work? You let Jeff touch it?! You let Darth Moron touch it!
Time Warner Cable Offices
New York
Tech #1 to admin, while fixing cabling issue: You want me to pull it out now?
Tech #2, walking by: Uhhh…
Monroe, North Carolina
Overheard by: Wary Technician
IT worker: I stated that. We cannot make this idiot-proof, but we can identify them.
Scottsburg, Indiana
Overheard by: Larry G. Case
Config Manager Guy: It’s like the island of misfit toys over there.
DBA: I don’t want to be in support, I want to be a dentist.
2202 N. Westshore Boulevard
Tampa, Florida
Technician loudly on cell, working in server room: Yeah! His name's “golden.” (pause) You know, like “golden shower.”
Anchorage, Alaska
Techie: I’m sorry about the delay. We’re using a new system, and I liked the old system. I’m a creature of habit and resist change.
Customer: Tell me about it; I’m with the Archdiocese.
555 International Way
Springfield, Oregon
Computer nerd: Last night I had to set my monkey on fire.
California State University
Northridge, California
Overheard by: Scott
Shipping Manager: I can’t hear anything on my phone whenever I make or receive a call. Can you check it out for me?
IT Director: Did you get your hearing checked?
4055 Casilio Parkway
Clarence, New York
