IT minion, about boss: He started talking to me about Star Trek. I don't know why he thought I'd want to talk about that. I was wearing my Star Wars shirt. I mean, different universe!
Boston, Massachusetts
IT minion, about boss: He started talking to me about Star Trek. I don't know why he thought I'd want to talk about that. I was wearing my Star Wars shirt. I mean, different universe!
Boston, Massachusetts
New partner, opening mail: Oh, it's my gold card. Wonder what's the difference between this and a regular Amex.
Smart-ass IT guy: Well, it creates a gravitational anomaly when you whip it out in high-end restaurants, causing all the girls' panties to hit the floor.
New partner: I could have asked a thousand people that question, only you would have given that answer.
Winnipeg
Canadia
Sales guy: How’d the trip go?
IT guy: Went pretty well. Almost had to send your branch manager home though.
Sales guy: Ha, why?
IT guy: After we loaded up all the inventory in an Excel spreadsheet, he kept sorting it wrong. He’d sort just one column. It would scramble the whole thing up and we’d have to delete it and start all over. He did that three times before I banned him from Excel.
Sales guy: You banned him?
IT guy: I banned him.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Female tech: I have the funniest hiccups. They sound like kittens!
Boss: If you say so.
McComb, Mississippi
Head of technology development: I'm going to spend some time on Twitter. What do you call that? I'm going to twat?
Female employee: No, I don't think that could possibly be right.
Grove City, Ohio
(scientist gets in a packed elevator)
Scientist: I can’t believe it’s this busy the day before Thanksgiving.
Secretary: Surprisingly.
Scientist: I said: “I can’t believe it’s this busy!” It’s the day before Thanksgiving!
Tech: It’s actually two days from Thanksgiving.
Scientist: I’m going to go home and make my turkey tonight. Have it ready for the family!
Suit: What a good idea. You should make the stuffing with it, save time.
(scientist smiles, gets off)
Tech: That wasn’t nice.
Suit: He farted while in an elevator, I don’t care.
Extremely Small Elevator
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Tech: Is this some sort of interrogation?
Supervisor: Ah…yeah…we’re not cops, so, obviously not.
19555 West Bluemound Road
Waukesha, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Mike
Tech support #1: It is shatter proof, like pyrite.
Tech support #2: Have you ever dropped a dish?
Tech support #1: No, but I dropped a glass dong.
Call Center
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
IT manager on phone: You’re right, ma’am. Yes, that is entirely our fault. We should have explained that you’ll need to have a computer to teach a course online.
Denver Tech Center
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: rev_matt
IT #1: I asked him if he was in the United States.
IT #2: I tell people if you want to buy a computer, call their support line. If you can’t stand the accent, don’t buy that computer.
1100 SW 6th Avenue
Portland, Oregon
