Voice #1, on other side of the wall: You know, the one with the heroin thing and double-ended dildo!
(silence)
Voice #2: Are we still talking about movies?
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Amanda
Voice #1, on other side of the wall: You know, the one with the heroin thing and double-ended dildo!
(silence)
Voice #2: Are we still talking about movies?
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Amanda
Co-worker: That’s a great idea, get a robot to sell drugs so you don’t have to. That way, when the cops bust your robot, you don’t get in trouble, just your robot. Just think, there’s so many criminal activities you could automate, like robotic prostitutes. Until now I had thought our future was dark and grim, but how I’m seeing a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
115 Perimeter Center Place NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Teacher: When he came in to register his kids here, he tried to use his arrest report as his proof of address. “Possession with intent to sell,” it said. I told him, “You can’t use that as your proof of address; you need a BGE or a water bill.”
2000 Cecil Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Suit: It was 6 hours of nonstop powerdrinking. My wife was at a Christmas party and asked me to pick her up, and I said, “Even I would not get behind the wheel now!”
350 Madison Ave.
New York, NY
Middle-aged female boss: So I huffed a giant diaper this morning. Am I hip?
Lexington, Massachusetts
Angry coworker: Damn! The bossman makes me so mad, I gotta go home and shoot some heroin!
Burbank, California
Overheard by: hooya
CPA: This pile here is a bunch of bad deals I made when I was taking drugs…
New Jersey
Sales rep: Gotta get some PCP, it really helps me get through the day.
Software Company
Buffalo, New York
Employee #1: Did you go out this weekend?
Employee #2: Not really.
Employee #1: I tried this new drink. The bartender said it was a ‘cum shot.’
Employee #2: How many drinks did it take before you did that?
Monroe Avenue
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: did you brush your teeth?
Peon: I'm not on nearly enough medications to be a lawyer.
Kanata
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: not a lawyer
