Chick on cell, going to see her dad at work: Not shaving my legs is my chastity belt — now I can get drunk and not be a slut.
Main Street
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by:
Chick on cell, going to see her dad at work: Not shaving my legs is my chastity belt — now I can get drunk and not be a slut.
Main Street
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by:
Tech: Are you planning on pressure washing the entire space?
Boss: Yeah, baby!
Tech: That’s gonna take you a week! You coming in this weekend or something?
Boss: Yeah… But I’m gonna be high.
6th Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Tomcat
Sick coworker, in sing-songy voice: Vodka and antibiotics …what more could you neeeeeed?
New York City, New York
Nurse: Where are your pants [Tobias]?
AlcoHobo: I must have forgotten to put them on before I left the house.
North Terrace
Adelaide, South Australia
Coworker #1: Okay, if you're 60 years old, why are you still smoking pot?
Coworker #2: There's no age limit on letting the good times roll.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Giddy woman: You like alcohol, don’t you?
Not-So-Giddy woman: I like when everyone around me’s drunk. It makes my life easier.
Giddy woman: I like when I’m drunk. It makes my life easier.
10 Exchange Place
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: 3rd cubicle to the left
Detective #1, walking away from meeting with chief: Man,where do you come up with some of this shit?
Detective #2: There were a couple summers in the 70s when I thought LSD was a vitamin.
Manhattan, New York
Office lady #1: I’m going to a sleep-away camp for ten-year-olds this weekend.
Office lady #2: Well, at least there will be alcohol.
1 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: sarcastro
Guy: Me and the wife are going out this weekend. You think you could hook me up with…uhh, some happy fun time shit?
Girl: Are you serious? I don't think I have anything you'd like. How do you know what your wife wants?
Guy: What the fuck? She wants weed, end of story!
Girl: Oh, shit! I thought you were talking about sex toys!
Guy: Why the fuck would I ask to borrow someone else's sex toys?
Girl: I…uh…
Guy (smirking): So you have sex toys, huh? What kind?
Girl: Shut up!
Centennial, Colorado
Overheard by: Trouble
Guy: I’m so beat. I stayed out till 4am drinking last night. I was going to go take a nap in the car, but I think that would be too obvious.
Girl: You can take a nap on the picnic table over there. Then maybe a cop will show up and arrest you because he thinks you’re homeless.
Guy: Bitch! This is business casual!
23825 Commerce Park
Beachwood, Ohio
