Male work-study student: I was gonna give a dozen roses to this girl I liked, but I decided not to. Do you want them?
Female full-time professional: If anyone's gonna give me 12 of anything it's gonna be inches.
University
El Paso, Texas
Male work-study student: I was gonna give a dozen roses to this girl I liked, but I decided not to. Do you want them?
Female full-time professional: If anyone's gonna give me 12 of anything it's gonna be inches.
University
El Paso, Texas
University call center rep: Okay ma'am, what program were you interested in?
Prospective student: Well, I'm not exactly sure. I was thinking of something in prostitution. (pause) Oh, that's not right.
University Drive
Davie, Florida
Grad student to undergrad: So I think we’ll probably end up selling our plane tickets, since we kind of need the money.
Professor nearby: Damn it!
Grad student: Um, should I, not sell the tickets, then?
Professor: Oh, oh no, sorry. It’s just that I don’t think I should wear my bathing suit to work anymore.
North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Student: Hi, I was wondering what time you closed.
Front desk clerk: We close tonight at midnight.
Student: Yeah, but what time exactly? Like 9 pm?
Seattle, Washington
Hipster: Making out is my Viagra.
School of Management Office
University of Massachusetts
Puzzled physical therapist: So, what position do you play on the football team?
Stoner high school athlete: I play wide receiver, defensive back, running back, you know, I’m a utensil player.
1300 East
Sandy, Utah
Overheard by: The Fork
Law school student: I should have been a porn star.
Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Undergrad: If I shit a brick, what would the geologists think of it?
Men’s room, University of Iowa
Iowa
