Grad student #1: Dude, don't get defensive, but we all have a theory that you're going to snap like that guy from Yale.
Grad student #2: What?! I'm nothing like that guy!
Grad student #1: But you're a control freak, and you have anger issues.
Grad student #2: I'm not a control freak! I just get pissed off at people when they don't do what they're supposed to!
University Park, Pennsylvania
Professor: Many cultures handle cleanliness in many ways.
Female student: But just because you're OCD about being clean doesn't mean you're not susceptible to getting herpes.
Fullerton, California
Grad student #1: Wow, the boss-lady is pretty laid back today. She hasn't even harassed me once since I came in this morning!
Grad student #2: I dunno, dude. When she's this chilled out, I just assume that somewhere there are dozens of puppies that have been kicked.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Advisor: You know, her lack of concern for this is really biting me in the ass now. I should have been more aware.
Female grad student: Well, we all should have paid more attention to her work.
Advisor: You know, that's a good point, because trust me: your ass is not protected from biting!
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Grad student: So I think that the manuscript should be organized differently…
(advisor's phone rings, he has a quick conversation in Arabic)
Advisor: Goddammit, sorry. I hate when my damn Arab relatives call, they always want me to set them up with prostitutes for their trips to the United States.
Grad student: Uh…
Advisor: Anyway, where is figure 3 going in your paper now?
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Student #1: Check out my bone sword. (holds up arm)
Student #2: Your what?
Student #1: My bone sword. It's strong!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: 5th gr. teacher
Grad student: How was the meeting?
Neurology professor: It was great, and this time I took really good notes, see? Right here I wrote, “Why is the neurons are gone?”
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Post-doc: Does anyone know when Household Hazardous Waste Disposal Day is?
Grad student: Wooooo! Household Hazardous Waste Disposal Day! Let's celebrate!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Enrollment counselor on phone with student: The first letter is I, like “eyeball.”
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Literate Listener
