Worker, rushing into boss's office: Guess what I just got the kids for Christmas! It's hand sanitizer for kids and it's called “cooter killer.”
Boss: (stares)
Worker: I mean, “cootie killer”!
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Worker, rushing into boss's office: Guess what I just got the kids for Christmas! It's hand sanitizer for kids and it's called “cooter killer.”
Boss: (stares)
Worker: I mean, “cootie killer”!
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
50-something admin: There were a whole bunch of plates here.
Everyone else in kitchen: (several seconds of silence)
50-something admin, loudly: Yesterday, there were a whole bunch of plates here.
Everyone else in kitchen: (more silence)
50-something admin, quietly: There were a whole bunch of plates.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: durp
Female employee #1: I saw your muffin and I was tempted to eat it.
Female employee #2: I thought somebody already ate my muffin.
Female employee #1: No, it's still there… See? Uneaten.
Female employee #3, laughing: Yeah, I think she'd know if somebody ate her muffin.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Daughter-in-law cooing over another shopper’s baby: Awww — look at that face!
Mother-in-law: You’ll have one of your own soon.
Daughter-in-law: [Snorts] Talk to your son about that.
Mother-in-law: Well, that’s between the two of you, I think.
Daughter-in-law: You know how I am. If I don’t get what I want, I just go out and get it myself. Remember how I wanted a kitten?
Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Fellow shopper
Oblivious female office worker: I really like getting adjusted. Some people say it hurts, but to me it feels so good! A good release of tension.
Male office worker: “Adjusted.” Is that what they call it now?
Oblivious female office worker: Yep, it has many names. I see my chiropractor for an adjustment two or three times a week.
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Outgoing office assistant helping new one fill out HR paperwork: Wow! You look so different in your driver's license picture.
New assistant: Yeah, I was so much skinnier and my hair was so much better.
Outgoing office assistant: How is your hair different now?
New assistant: Well, you know when you're having a bunch of sex, your hair changes?
Nashville, Tennessee
Co-worker: I like it so much I say forget about the back end, let’s do everything front end.
150 South 5th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Colleen Cauley
(crunching water bottle noise)
Girl admin, in sassy tone: Hey! Those are the breast cancer water bottles–show some respect!
IT guy: Yeah–that's why I'm…
Girl admin: Squishing it?!
IT guy: You said it! Not me!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: That's what she said
Teacher: I just love children!
(silence in the room)
Teacher: Medically speaking, of course…
Hospital
New York
Overheard by: Yeah, I think I'm gonna leave now…
