Tonight's Movie: Office Spaces

Female estimator: My boss is going to deep dive me on this tomorrow. He knows where all my holes are.

Everett, Washington

Posted on August 21, 2008
Body Parts, Default, Office Politics, Sexuality, Washington, Words

Can You Ask Derek in Accounting If He Wants to Join Me?

Female coworker: You're my best friend and I love you and all but I just really don't want to Wikipedia Greek porn with you ever again.
Male coworker: It's not porn, it's art! They're etchings.
Female coworker: Whatever. Ewwww.
Male coworker: Seriously. Wow. Ewww. (looks around room) Ummm, yeah, I think I need to go cry in the executive shower.

McKemmy
Chandler, Arizona

Posted on August 21, 2008
Arizona, Coworkers, Default, Feelings, Friends, Internet, Sexuality, Wishes

More Like a Donkey Punch, Really

Female Facebook coworker: My old professor just Facebooked me.
Male non-Facebook coworker: That sounds wrong. Is that like a dirty Sancho or something?
Female Facebook coworker: It's Sanchez. And no.

Wacker Drive
Chicago Illinois

Overheard by: Hear No Evil

Posted on August 21, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Education, General Idiocy, Illinois, Internet, Questions, Sexuality, Words

That's Exactly What She Said

Male work-study student: I was gonna give a dozen roses to this girl I liked, but I decided not to. Do you want them?
Female full-time professional: If anyone's gonna give me 12 of anything it's gonna be inches.

University
El Paso, Texas

Posted on August 18, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Employees, Feelings, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Students, Texas, Wishes

Insert Obligatory “Cockpit” Joke Here

Prudish female lecturer of psychology: And so, we have to assess whether the pilot has the presence of mind to ejaculate from his seat during emergencies…

Selangor, Malaysia

Posted on August 18, 2008
Default, Malaysia, Sexuality, Teachers, Words

Save Some Play Doh for Everyone Else in the Office

Intern #1 to intern #2: Dude, you need to stop making babies!

Virginia

Posted on August 15, 2008
Advice, Default, Family, Interns & Temps, Sexuality, Virginia

One Day I'm Going to Crochet That on a Little Pillow

Bar girl: So you haven't picked up in a year?
Bouncer: Look, it has to be right. I can pick up a girl, ball-gag her and fuck her in the ass, but sometimes I want to cuddle too.

Bar
Melbourne
Austrailia

Posted on August 15, 2008
Australia, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Feelings, Questions, Sexuality, Time Management

I'll Send You the Pre-Law Application, Ma'am

University call center rep: Okay ma'am, what program were you interested in?
Prospective student: Well, I'm not exactly sure. I was thinking of something in prostitution. (pause) Oh, that's not right.

University Drive
Davie, Florida

Posted on August 11, 2008
Default, Education, Employees, Florida, Questions, Sexuality, Students, Weirdness

And Never the Twain Shall Meet

Underling: I had something I need to talk to you about, but I can't remember it now.
Boss (grinning): Well, I'm not in your head so…
Underling: I need you inside my head.
Boss (grimacing): Uh…I don't think I want…
Underling (interrupting): No, the work side, not the porn side.

Route 9
Framingham, Massachusetts

Posted on August 8, 2008
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Default, Massachusetts, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sexuality, Weirdness

That's Just the Place to Start Looking

Waiter #1: She's depressed and feels bad about herself. That's why she's a headmonster.
Waiter #2: Tell her the best place to find self-esteem is not squirting out the end of a dick.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on August 7, 2008
Advice, Default, Feelings, Indiana, Retail, Sexuality

Sexuality