Sales Rep: Could you get me a UPS freight rate to send this to Annapolis, Maryland?
Secretary: …That’ll cost $35.
Sales Rep: That’s not bad.
Secretary: I thought it would be more. Isn’t Maryland, like, in another country?
Sales Rep: You’re fucking kidding, right?
Secretary: No, Maryland is another country, isn’t it?
Sales Rep: Unbelievable.
3525 Mitchell Road
Ceres, California
Sales rep: Gotta get some PCP, it really helps me get through the day.
Software Company
Buffalo, New York
Sales manager: Every time I walk over here I smell sausages!
East Hartford, Connecticut
Sales manager: Do me a favor and go help that customer.
Employee: Can't I just touch you inappropriately and get sent home because I make you feel really uncomfortable?
Sales manager: Maybe if I thought there was some feeling behind it.
Chicago, Illinois
Salesperson: When do you need these parts? ASAP or as soon as possible?
630-2 Broadway Avenue
Holbrook, New York
Warehouse manager: Anyone seen Joe*?
Office manager: I don’t know where he is. He sent me an email at 2:03, so he’s at a computer somewhere.
Sales guy: I haven’t seen him in a while.
Office manager: I bet he went home and he’s sending these emails from the web-mail!
Assistant: No, I went out to the warehouse not long ago and passed him on my way out there. He didn’t look very happy though.
Sales guy: Why don’t you bake him a birthday cake?
Assistant: But it’s not his birthday!
Sales guy: It doesn’t matter. Birthday cakes make everyone feel better.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Sales manager: What's that picture from?
R&D assistant: It's from our Christmas party.
Sales manager: I've never seen a fat Filipino hitman before.
Los Alamitos, California
Overheard by: Cat
Salesman to screaming manager: What happened?
Manager: I just castrated myself!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Not Soon Enough
Sales on phone: I trusted you not to destroy my testes.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Brad
