Supervisor: I saw a unicorn just the other day!
Coworker #1: No, you did not. They're extinct.
Supervisor: What?
Coworker #2: What?
Coworker #1: They been extinct since Jesus's time!
Supervisor: You believe in mermaids?
Coworker #1: Well, duh, mermaids were around during Jesus too!
Coworker #2: Neither of those things exist.
Coworker #1: Ohmigod! Are you serious? But my mom told me when I was a kid!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Malikat
Professor: Yeah, my daughter’s having a slumber party tonight. She invited eight girls, but one of them can’t come because she’s a Jew.
Grad student: Oh…
Professor: I mean, because there’s a Jewish holiday this weekend she has to observe.
Grad student: Oh, okay. Not because you don’t allow them in your home…
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Office mole #1: Guess who's not coming to your birthday?
Office mole #2: Jesus Christ?
Parksville
Canadia
Overheard by: Unfortunate bystander
Server admin: He’s Catholic, isn’t he?
Developer: Nah, he’s just gay.
State and Water Street
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…
Dude #1, at urinal: Shouldn’t we have two different organs for peeing and reproducing?
Dude #2: Submit a design change request to god.
Bangalore
India
Partner: Can you please find a nice Jewish lawyer who can unfuck this situation for me?
Dallas, Texas
Phone rep on cell: All right, we'll just keep giving praise to god then!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Project Manager
Professor: People never say half the things they are supposed to have said. I mean, just ask Jesus — ‘It wasn’t me, it was my flippin’ disciples.’
Queens University
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
