And My PayPal Account Is Empty

Office guy, yelling to another office: Hey, whatcha doin' in there?
Naïve girl: Putting my computer together.
Office guy: Are you on the floor?
Naïve girl: Yeah, why?
Office guy: On your knees? (starts laughing)

High Point, North Carolina

Posted on August 19, 2019
Coworkers, North Carolina, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Sexuality, Technology

Which Is What People Have Come to Expect from “Toys R' Butts”

Coworker #1: What is wrong with this web page?
Coworker #2: Nothing, it's just ass and toys.

Green Bay, Wisconsin

Posted on August 17, 2019
Body Parts, Coworkers, Questions, Technology, Wisconsin

It Was the Politest Invasion in the History Of Warfare

Clerk: Do you have an appointment?
Customer: No, I'm Canadian.

Bellingham, Washington

Posted on August 14, 2019
Customer Support, Employees, Meetings, Questions, Washington, Weirdness

Are You Doing This Deliberately?

Employee #1: Is George Harrison the guy that directed Star Wars?
Employee #2: No that's George Lucas.
Employee #1: Oh, but he was in Star Wars then.
Employee #2: No, that's Harrison Ford.
Employee #1: Oh. Wasn't Frank Sinatra in The Beatles?

Addison, Texas

Posted on August 13, 2019
Cinema, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Music, Questions, Texas

The White Bear's Always Trying to Keep Us Down

Woman on the phone (groaning): What are they protesting this time? (pause) Are they protesting polar bears again?

Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: who wouldn't protest?

Posted on August 10, 2019
Animals, Default, On the phone, Questions

Or Will We Finally Get a Taste?

Suit to a group of coworkers who just crowded into elevator: Do you think we’ll get to talk about Matt’s nuggets at this morning’s meeting?

SoMa
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Green

Posted on August 7, 2019
California, Coworkers, Default, Meetings, Office Politics, Questions, Substance Use & Abuse, Suits

If It Involves Your Bunions Again, I'm Hanging Up.

Coworker on phone: Ma'am, are you an owner with Melvin? I can't help you if you're not an owner with Melvin. Again, ma'am, I can't help you if you're not an owner with Melvin. We didn't even book your vaca…okay, fine. Tell me your little story.

Redmond, Washington

Posted on August 6, 2019
Body Parts, Coworkers, On the phone, Questions, Vacation, Washington

Raise Your Hand If You Love Wite-Out

Old lady #1: They'll be all “whats that white stuff on yo' face?”
Old lady #2: Just tell 'em it's White-Out or something…

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Posted on August 5, 2019
Body Parts, Colors, Friends, New Jersey, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

Okay, People, You Are to Cease Using the Austin Powers Films in Management Training

Underling: Is that what you need?
Boss: I was asking for a shark with laser beams, and I got a manatee with flashlights? Thanks.

Kadena Air Base
Okinawa, Japan

Overheard by: R U Shittin’ Me

Posted on August 4, 2019
Animals, Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Gripes, Japan, Offers and requests, Questions, The Military

Could Be a Wooden Plank in a Stripper Costume

Drone #1: Christ! I need to play the lottery.
Drone #2: Why, how much is it?
Drone #1: 250 million. If I win I'm flipping the bird to this place and you and I are gonna go hit Vegas. I'm gonna die balls deep in some hot stripper.
Drone #2: A female one right?
Drone #1: At 250 million, it won't matter.

Broadway & 42nd
New York City, New York

Posted on August 2, 2019
Coworkers, Money, New York, Questions, Sexuality

Questions