Questions

Three’s Normal, Right?

Well-dressed 30-something woman: So my son was like: “Mom! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” So I told him to talk to his father because I want nothing to do with this conversion. So he says: “Dad! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” and my husband goes: “Yeah -’cause those are your balls. Women have boobs and men have balls and those are your balls! End of story.”
Slightly horrified 20-something woman: Don’t you think that will ultimately confuse him?
30-something woman: I know, right?! Anyway, it was so funny… [Laughs] Balls!

Providence, Rhode Island

Dude, T-Shirt— and Never Speak to Me Again!

Male coworker to another: As a man, have you ever had your nipples get sore from your shirt rubbing on them?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Amelia

Psh, Like That Matters

Secretary: Wait, don’t you have to be in the military to run for president?
Worker: No. I’ve taken karate in the past, so I get to skip that step.
Secretary: Oh… But do you really think you’d get enough votes?

5000 South Lewis Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Whoa Now

…To an Israeli Customer?

Cube dweller #1, on phone: “Yes, “h” as in “Hitler.”
Cube dweller #2: Wow… Did he really just say that?

Kansas City, Missouri

What?? That Bit Kills at the Station.

Police officer, taking initial report on phone: So your stereo was stolen from your vehicle in the hospital parking lot last night? (pause) Okay, sir, I'll get someone out to you to take the report. And sir, I'll be working the security at the hospital tonight and I promise that while I'm on duty no one will steal your stereo out of your car.(laughs) Because it's already been stolen.

Zachary, Louisiana

German–It's Not Just for Germans Anymore

Tech: Did you speak a lot of German?
Office girl, just back from England: Um, I don't speak German.
Tech: Oh, so they all speak English over there?
Office girl: No, I just didn't go to Germany.

Fresno, California

…with Jane.

Gary: Hey Dave, do I need to be more of a dick or less of a dick?
Dave: Nah, the dick quotient is fine, we just need to coordinate ahead of time.

New York City, New York

Overheard by: thenewguy

With a Minor in Hooking

Female coworker: Can you lend me a screwdriver so I can put this hook on the door?
IT dude: Do you know what you're doing with that?
Female coworker: Are you kidding? I've got a degree in screwing!

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Steph

Yet We're Way Ahead of Canadia

Marketing girl #1: Everything south of us is an hour ahead right?
Marketing girl #2: Ummmmm… No. Everything east of us is an hour ahead.
Marketing girl #1: But Florida is south of us, and they are an hour ahead of us.
Marketing girl #2: (blank stare)

Chicago, Illinois

3PM Coffee Break

Co-worker #1: Hey, why did you get a coffee this morning? We’re getting free Starbucks coffee today, remember?
Co-worker #2: Oh, this isn’t a coffee. It’s a latte.

90 Shawmut Road
Canton, Massachusetts

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