It's More Of a Concentrated Spurt Than a Shake, Really

Coworker: Hey, what's that on your pants?
Pocket Hercules: Oh, this? It's just a little protein shake.
Coworker: What?
Pocket Hercules: Wait, that didn't sound right!

Bloomington, Minnesota

Posted on February 13, 2009
Body Parts, Clothes, Coworkers, Minnesota, Questions, Sexuality

Just Need to Know If It's Really Gonna Hit My Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie

Caller: I need to speak to your meteorologist now.
Producer: Sorry, she's gone to dinner.
Caller: But I really need to know about the moon. Will she be saying anything about the moon tonight during the news?
Producer: What are you, a werewolf?

News Station
Jackson, Mississippi

Posted on February 12, 2009
Employees, Mississippi, On the phone, Questions, Strangers, Weather, Weirdness

I Don't Have the Energy for Another Cucumber Demo Today– Okay, Larry?

Male coworker: Wait! What's that word mean?
Female coworker: What? “Fellatio”?
Male coworker: Yeah, that.
Female coworker: Oh, jeez. It means “oral sex.”
Male coworker: Ohhhh. Hey, Susanna*, can I fellatio you?

Derry, New Hampshire

Overheard by: TacoSlinger

Posted on February 12, 2009
Coworkers, New Hampshire, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Sexuality, Words

She Needs to Stop Spewing Crap About Me

Fat, braless, tattooed, redneck biker-looking kitchen worker: I oughta sue her for defecating my character–talking about me like that!
Incredulous co-worker: Ummm…do you mean defaming?
Fat, braless, tattooed, redneck biker-looking kitchen worker: Yeah…whatever.

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: donna

Posted on February 11, 2009
Coworkers, Florida, Insults, Questions, Words

Behind the Scenes at Every McDonald's Commercial, in a Nutshell

Frantic coworker on telephone: What's the status of Ron's wig?!

Tidewater, Virginia

Posted on February 11, 2009
Coworkers, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Questions, Virginia, Weirdness

And Now They're in a Sticky Situation

Manager: How can they spend this much on marketing?
Old partner: They certainly blew their whole load for the year.

Deerfield, Illinois

Overheard by: cube noob

Posted on February 10, 2009
Bosses, Illinois, Money, Questions, Sexuality

It's Difficult to Make Ashes Look Alive, Ma'am

Family: Well, let me ask you this, I mean, she won't look dead, right? I've seen some bodies that look like they are dead and I think that is awful, how do you make the deceased not look “that” way?
Director: Uuuhhmmmmm, well, uhhh, huh?

Funeral Home
Detroit, Michigan

Posted on February 10, 2009
Customers, Death, Employees, Family, Family members, Michigan, Physical Appearance, Questions

…Than Getting Paid

Boss: Do you want to hear about what trouble my toddler got up to this morning?
Lackey: Honestly? No.
Boss: I control your paycheck.
Lackey: Nnnnnothing would make me happier.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: That was smooth.