Accountant on phone: And what does he want inserted there? And all the way down to the end? I don't think it will fit.
New York City, New York
Accountant on phone: And what does he want inserted there? And all the way down to the end? I don't think it will fit.
New York City, New York
Woman #1: I need to get an accountant to do my taxes, but it's just so expensive.
Woman #2: You're single, why don't you just barter with someone in accounting for sex?
Elevator, Broadway & 40th st
New York City, New York
Male coworker to female coworker: Did you get your legs waxed? Geez, your legs are so shiny I can see my face in them.
Orlando, Florida
Girl on elevator: How mad should I be that he is still publicly declaring love for someone else?
Friend: You could point it out, say, “You know, I'd feel better about all the time you spend texting your ex-skank if you took down that you love her on Facebook.”
Girl: I don't want to jump to conclusions or be crazy anymore, he said that she was like a sister.
Friend: It's really absurd to text that much though.
Girl: I don't know if maybe he meant like in The South?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overly talkative manager: So, to lighten the mood a little on this call, what did you do on your day off yesterday, Steve? Did you get some mini-golf in?
Steve: I was at my uncle's funeral.
Minnesota
Overheard by: HungryHungryHippy
Attorney: Don't make any appointments for me this weekend, I'm going to a rodeo.
Minion: Are you in it?
Attorney: Yeah.
Minion: I didn't know you rode.
Attorney: Well, if you put enough hardware on it you can ride anything.
Minion: (laughing)
Attorney: I meant the horse.
Minion: (laughing uncontrollably)
Attorney: Get out of my office!
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: Does it come with instructions?
(fart noise, then microwave door closes and microwave starts, then a ding!)
Temp kid: Dude, what did he just microwave?
Northern Virginia
Overheard by: Mika
Secretary: Where are my scissors? Did you take my scissors? You're always taking my stuff!
Junior suit: Do you see me cutting anything?
Secretary: I'll cut you up.
Junior suit: With what?
Wall Street
New York City, New York
Female sales associate to male sales associate: Am I really that dumb?
(male sales associate gives her a blank stare)
Female sales associate: Oh my god! I really am that dumb!
Woodbury Commons, New York
New male employee: Does our company have a policy restricting facial hair?
HR: No. If we started restricting facial hair for men, then we'd have to restrict the women too and that's just too much work.
Technology Parkway, Massachusetts
