Coworker #1, eating lunch: What have you got there? Steak?
Coworker #2: No, it's lamb.
Coworker #1: What's the difference?
Coworker #2: It comes from a lamb.
Waltham, Massachusetts
Coworker #1, eating lunch: What have you got there? Steak?
Coworker #2: No, it's lamb.
Coworker #1: What's the difference?
Coworker #2: It comes from a lamb.
Waltham, Massachusetts
First-time father of twins to female coworker: So, when do newborns open their eyes?
Coworker: Um…it's not like kittens, babies are born with their eyes open.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Dea at work
HR manager: Why does she keep calling it a guidebook? It's an employee handbook! A guidebook is for when you go to the Cayman Islands and need to find a donkey!
Norwalk, Connecticut
Man: So what’s that building over there?
Tour guide: That’s the Wrigley Building.
Man: So what does Wrigley do?
Tour guide: They make gum.
Man: Gum? Really? What kind of gum?
Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Woman (after manager jokingly pats her on the back): Hey, don’t be coming in here hitting me!
Manager: No, no, I wouldn’t do that. I haven’t hit a woman in a long time. You know when the last time I hit a woman was? It was my ex-wife, and it was goooooood. I spent two days in jail, but it was worth it. It was soooo worth it. They had to wire her jaw shut. Six weeks. Six weeks of silence.
Woman: That’s nice, but could you leave now, please?”
Wilmington, North Carolina
Employee: Sir, the password to your account is?
Man: J-u-g-g-a-l-o.
Wife: God, that's so embarrassing.
Pleasanton, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Coworker to another while tweaking settings on their iPhones: Where's your colon?
Birmingham
England
Overheard by: Bex
Employee #1: I wish we still had dinosaurs. That would be awesome!
Employee #2: Are you high?
Employee #1: No, no, no. I'm just saying, it would totally solve the goose problem.
McLean, Virginia
Lawyer on phone: Well, he doesn't need his dick to go to work, does he?
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
40-year-old male, after reading joke about KY jelly: I don't get it. What is KY jelly?
Richmond, Virginia
