AP clerk: It's a fetish. Do you know what they are?
Manhattan, New York
Large lady: What's for lunch today?
Regular lady: Mushroom risotto.
Large lady: Oh, I can't have mushrooms–they make me horny and I ain't got no one to be horny with no more.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Aghast
Sales rep: Why didn't you say “woo-hoo”? Is it not big enough for you?
Assistant manager: Woo-hoo! There, you happy?
Sales rep: Yes.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Office peon #1: He has a tendency not to sleep when he's at work.
Office peon #2: That's good, that's good. Should we invite him for tonight?
Office peon #1: Nah.
Manila
Philippines
Overheard by: Kaye
Project Manager: I can’t get my numbers to balance with yours.
Budget Analyst: How much are you off by?
Project Manager: About a million.
5000 Ellin Road
Lanham, Maryland
Overheard by: Cantabile
Guy #1: Man, I wish we had one of those things. You know, you put money in and food comes out?
Guy #2: Vending machine?
Guy #1: Yeah. Right.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Scott
Office girl #1: I wish Chinese places would deliver around here!
Office girl #2: They do. You have to pay a service fee but they will bring you food.
Office girl #1: But I don't live around here, so how does that help me?
Maryland
Secretary #1: It looks nice, don’t it?
Secretary #2: Did you just say, “it looks nice, don’t it?”…Doesn’t it! I’m just trying to get us ready for the bigwigs next week!
Secretary #1: It don’t matter, sweetie.
10559 Citation Drive
Brighton, Michigan
Overheard by: Abigail Fisher
Sales rep #1: So last night I told my husband I don't believe in anal sex.
Sales rep #2: Really? How'd that go?
Sales rep #1: Not so good.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
HR head: So, when's the, uh…I guess, “drop-dead date” for your baby?
Hugely pregnant admin: Uh…what? You mean the latest date before my doctor induces?
HR head: Yeah. The drop-dead date.
Hugely pregnant admin: Wow.
Phoenix, Arizona
