Worker #1: Who’s that?
Worker #2: What, the new temp?
Worker #1: Oh. What happened to the other lady?
Worker #2: She was too over-qualified.
Worker #1: What, and the new guy’s not? What is his experience?
Worker #2: Well, he was a turd farmer from poor Virginia.
Des Moines, Iowa
Peon #1: Where did this ball come from? Is this your ball?
Peon #2: It's not mine. I haven't touched my balls in a long time.
Los Alamitos, California
Overheard by: Jen
Assistant #1: What if you get a busy signal?
Assistant #2: That means it’s busy.
Assistant #1, after a long pause: Thank you.
450 N Street
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Assistant #3
Professor #1, referring to box on front desk: What is that?
Assistant: Tetramethylammonium hydroxide.
Professor #1: What?
Professor #2: It's just a bomb.
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Listening for Ticking
Employee: I would really like to apologize for running late this morning. It won’t happen again.
Boss: Could you please turn your shirt right-side out?
350 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Susan
Hygienist: What's the two bubbles with the line mean?
Office assistant: That's a percent symbol.
Dental Office
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: A
Female account manager: Kevin*, maybe you know this. I've been asking everyone and no one wants to tell me. What is a “pearl necklace?”
Kevin* (gay HR director): Oh, boy. Shut the door, please.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Juan Chung
Sassy Latina operations manager: Where have you been?!?! You’ve been gone for like an hour!
Spunky marketing manager: What? I was getting a bikini wax!
Sassy Latina operations manager: Oh. [pause] I *thought* your pants looked looser.
M Street, Washington DC
Boss: Do you smell something burning?
Everyone: No. Is something burning?
Lab manager: Oh! I smell it! Guys, do you smell something burning?
Everyone: Nope.
Lab manager: Oh, well. There might be a fire. Maybe we'll all die… Whatever.
UCSD Pathology Lab
San Diego, California
Overheard by: kittymisfit
