Office drone: What does this apple taste like, and is it crunchy?
Tempe, Arizona
Office drone: What does this apple taste like, and is it crunchy?
Tempe, Arizona
Normal female #1: He didn't get out this morning?
Normal female #2: No., he was held over til next Wednesday.
Normal female #1: I don't think you should take the girls back to orange camp to see him this time… That's how hookers remember their childhood.
Tampa, Florida
IT salesperson #1: So basically, this opportunity is like looking at a really big cow in a small field!
IT salesperson #2: But the question is: do we cherrypick, do we take small bites at the cow…
IT salesperson #3: Or does the really big bull just take a running jump at it?
Newgate Street
London
England
Dumb blonde #1: Is there a pool at the swim gym?
Dumb blonde #2: I think so…
Hastings
New Zealand
Project manager: So, when Janet* gets it from both sides next week… Do you think that is what Craig* and Barbara* really want?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: The Quiet Consultant
Patron: Will the bank will be open on Friday?
Teller: Yes sir, we are open. Why shouldn't we be?
Patron: I heard it will be very cold Thursday and Friday.
Teller: No sir, we don't close the bank due to cold weather. How can I help you?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Eddie
Female customer: My sunglasses are broken. One of the screws fell out, and a guy in here yesterday said they would replace them with a new pair.
Woman behind counter: Oh, I remember you. You’re just looking for a screw, right?
Female customer, after entire store stops laughing: Aren’t we all, really?
1051 North Rush Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Standing behind you
Customer: What price tickets do you have available?
Call center rep: $70, $60, and $35.
Customer: Okay…(long pause) What tickets do you still have though?
Call center rep: Um…70 dollar tickets, 60 dollar tickets, and 35 dollar tickets.
Customer: Okay… (pause) But how much are the tickets that you have left?
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Kathy
Underling: So when did you want this by, yesterday or an hour ago?
219 N. Milwaukee Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Customer: I’ll take this sushi and the spicy chicken with brown rice.
Girl at counter: Do you want dark meat or sub with all natural chicken breast?
Customer: I don’t know — it’s not for me, it’s for a coworker.
Girl at counter: Is it a guy or a girl?
Customer: A guy.
Girl at counter: Just get the dark chicken. He’ll never tell the difference.
Customer: He’s gay.
Girl at counter: Oh. Then get the white meat.
1303 South Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Pracca
