Patient: So how is your blood pressure?
Dentist: Oh, it’s just fine. Thanks.
Dentist winces.
Dentist: Except when people bite my finger. When people bite my finger, it shoots way, way up.
105 Terrebonne Road
Grafton, Virginia
Patient: So how is your blood pressure?
Dentist: Oh, it’s just fine. Thanks.
Dentist winces.
Dentist: Except when people bite my finger. When people bite my finger, it shoots way, way up.
105 Terrebonne Road
Grafton, Virginia
Coworker #1: Hey, can you cover my shift next week?
Coworker #2: Why? Where are you going?
Coworker #1: My friend’s boyfriend is graduating from pharmacology school.
Coworker #2: Ew. Who would want to be a farmer?
3900 Hillsboro Road
Nashville, Tennessee
Guy: Should I put it in the folder?
Girl: Wait, I’m not sure. Should I take it out of the folder?
Guy: Um, maybe I should just put it in the folder.
Girl: No, I should take it out of the folder…
Guy: But, what if we need it in the folder?
127 Marina Drive
La Crosse, Wisconsin
Coworker #1: If she had been paying attention, she would have caught that.
Coworker #2: Does she know to look for it?
Coworker #1: No, she doesn’t know enough to look for it. I’m not ready to show her that, yet.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Paralegal: I hate looking at his face. Ruins my whole day.
Secretary: I know. I want to throw my shoe at him or something.
Paralegal: Ok, but can you make sure I’m there to see it?
overheard by: their boss
100 F Street
Washington, DC
Suit #1: Whenever it rains, you come to work wearing plastic pants. Why do you get to wear plastic pants? My boss wouldn’t let me wear plastic pants.
“Suit” #2: If you could do what I can do, you could wear plastic pants, too.
4 Irving Place
New York, New York
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Coworker on phone: Honest? I am very honest. I am also very loyal to the company I work for. I give 110% to them every day.
Pause
Coworker on phone: Sure, I can interview with you tomorrow morning.
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
Manager: How are we supposed to get any work done if all of our developers keep getting sucked off?
4740 44th Avenue SW
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: g-man
Credit manager: Anyone need some glasses?
Coworker: What kind of glasses?
Credit manager: Drinking glasses, water glasses. I have four and I’m not going to use them.
Coworker: Where’d ya get the glasses from?
Credit manager: I stole them from the hotel I was at last week
Coworker: You can’t go around stealing stuff from hotels.
Credit manager: That’s what my wife tells me, which is why I need to get rid of them before she finds out. Maybe I’ll just put them in the break room.
142 Grand Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa
Boss talking to client and client’s son in front office: So this is your youngest boy, isn’t it? I’ve met him before.
Client: Uh… I don’t think you have.
Boss: Yeah, I’m sure I have…. He’s Down’s Syndrome, isn’t he?
Client: No
98 Fitzroy Street
Grafton, Australia
Overheard by: gus shanks
