Engineer #1: I just lost that guy.
Engineer #2: Didn’t you transfer him up front?
Engineer #1: He’ll call back.
The phone rings.
Engineer #1 on phone: Hello? …Uh, yeah, sorry about that…Here you go.
The phone rings.
9531 Rayne Road
Sturtevant, Wisconsin
Social worker on phone: No! Stay away from that negative force. She is a demented old crab! Okay, I love you, too. Drive safe. And remember — no crabs. And pick up some Vonnegut now that he’s dead.
260 South Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: lora
Male coworker on phone: Well, in this alternate reality that's how babies are conceived.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Office manager, on the phone: Which one of Mommy’s boyfriends beat you badly enough as a child to turn you into the bitter, empty, hollow shell of a human being you are today?
Supervisor, to trainee: See? That’s why we have to answer the phone quickly in this office: to keep the managers from picking up the phone. Ever.
221 Corporate Gateway Boulevard
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Geobaldi
CSR: So if someone calls and asks to be transferred to Darryl, I transfer the call to Darryl, right?
51 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Office dweller on phone: You get Snoop. We get Jon Bon Jovi.
Austin, Texas
President #1, on teleconference: So that about wraps up what we discussed during the presidents' retreat. Did you have anything you wanted to add?
President #2 (after pause): Oh, I actually had you muted.
President #1: Okay, did you hear everything I said or do you need me to repeat anything?
President #2: Oh. Umm…no, I was going to the bathroom.
Baltimore, Maryland
Office chick #1: Hey, Lauren* wants you to answer her phone while she's out.
Office chick #2: Tell her to go jerk off in a corner.
Main Street
Peekskill, New York
Overheard by: Pam Beesly
Boss on phone: Hi! I just wanted to call and see if you were all sparkly from all that fairy dust I sprinkled on you. You are? That’s so hot!
Underling: I should so not be hearing this.
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
CSR: No, Courtney is with a customer right now. Can I take a message?…Oh, Courtney just hollered and she’s off the customer now.
106 West Grand River Avenue
Howell, Michigan
