Payroll girl on phone: No, we can't find the time cards… No, she didn't lose them… Hahahahaha. (to secretary who lost time cards) George says your butt sucks major canal water!
Secretary who lost time cards: What!?
Phoenix, Arizona
Payroll girl on phone: No, we can't find the time cards… No, she didn't lose them… Hahahahaha. (to secretary who lost time cards) George says your butt sucks major canal water!
Secretary who lost time cards: What!?
Phoenix, Arizona
Worker on phone to boyfriend: So you'll be waiting naked when I get home? Oooh…I'll come home naked.
Downers Grove, Illinois
Receptionist: I have Ms Jones* on the phone, she still has pain and wants to know if you will refill her Endocet prescription.
Doctor: No. She can have Vicodin.
Receptionist: She's allergic to Vicodin.
Doctor: Then she has to go to the hospital.
Receptionist (after speaking on telephone again): She asks if these are her only options: take medication she's allergic to or go to the hospital?
Doctor: Tell her I'm not here.
Kinnelon, New Jersey
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Coworker on phone: That's 'cause your toes got stuck under the dresser.
New York Avenue
Washington, DC
Lady on cell coming out of elevator: I think it's just going to be a roll on, roll off kind of thing.
Fair Oaks Lane
Frankfort, Kentucky
Office lady on phone to son: I don't know, I think we have it on tape… on tape. Video tape. No, not DVD, video tape. It's black and rectangular, and you put it in the VCR to watch movies. The VCR?… It's… look, just wait till I get home, okay?
Picktown, Ohio
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Coworker on phone: All I want to hear is you had a class…I don't want to hear about being tied up… It's all in a day's work.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: just trying to focus
Phil: I just got back from the restroom… Harry was in a stall talking to somebody on the cell phone while shitting. Farting and flushing and talking. Then he didn't even wash his hands on the way out. Remind me to never ever ever borrow his phone.
Dan: I couldn't talk to somebody and poop at the same time. My poop time is my private time.
Huntsville, Alabama
Sales manager to marketing manager: Isn't it sad when you've spent so much time talking on the phone to customers during the day that you don't want to talk to your wife when you get home?
Marketing manager: No.
Sales manager to recently engaged co-worker: See, this is what you have to look forward to. During the first year you'll argue like crazy, then after that… You won't care anymore.
Tennessee
Overheard by: M&M
Assistant on phone: Hello, Lucy Smith*'s office. (pause) No, she's not available, she's out having an abortion. (pause) Sure, I'll give her the message. Have a good day. (hangs up)
Lucy (angry): What?! Who was that?!
Assistant: Some pro-life group asking for donations.
Lucy: Oh, okay, good work.
Lexington Avenue
New York City, New York
