Clerk: I’m sorry, ma’am, but these photos are professional. There’s no way I could let you print these without a release form.
Customer, angry: If I didn’t just get out of prison, I would through such a fit!
Mother: Just calm down and walk away.
Cleveland, Ohio
Barista: Would you like this brownie heated up?
Brownie man: I like my brownies like I like my women.
Barista: Dark and covered in chocolate?
Coffee shop
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: agrees with him
Female sales exec: Did you get that e-mail I sent you?
Male sales exec: Yeah.
Female sales exec: What’d you think?
Male sales exec: I’d give it a 90 percent.
Female sales exec: What made you take 10 off?
Male sales exec: It didn’t say anything about Jesus being the savior. I mean, that’s why we celebrate Christmas. You can’t have Christmas without Easter.
Female sales exec: Oh.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: So I can’t call it Xmas?
Philosophy professor: History is written by the winners. Losers are killed… But in philosophy, losers aren’t killed, they’re marginalized.
Athens, Ohio
Customer: You did a wonderful job on your Christmas tree!
Boss: Actually, my staff did all the work.
Staff #1: No, you set the tree up.
Boss: Yes, but you added some ornaments.
Staff #1: Only a few, but I fluffed up the branches so I guess I’m the office fluffer.
Cleveland, Ohio
Random bitter Republican: Well, I don't think Rush Limbaugh is really far right conservative, I think he's pretty moderate.
Oregon, Ohio
Overheard by: Flying Turtle
Title clerk #1: Are those Doritos spicy?
Title clerk #2: Oh, they're only spicy when you eat them.
New Philadelphia, Ohio
Overheard by: ORLY?
Female coworker on chiropodic problems: Over time, the fat underneath your balls deteriorates, especially if you work out.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Boss to underling: Ants so big they could stand flat-footed and fuck a turkey…
Dayton, Ohio
Editor: It’s not chaos theory, it’s fractions.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
