Manager at IT training: For this project we're going to need buy-in from all of you.
Other managers: We agree.
Manager: Because every time we try to do a project like this, you buy-out right away.
McGill College
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: IT Trainer
Male attorney to female legal assistant going through files on the floor: That's what I like to see, a woman working on her knees.
Elmhurst, Illinois
Overheard by: Joanie
Big boss to underling: Your job is to not confuse me.
Nashville, Tennessee
Ditzy blonde intern: I just met the cutest guy on the elevator!
Less ditzy staff: Oh, which office does he work for?
Ditzy blonde intern: Hold on, he gave me his card. (shuffles through purse) Pol–politico's office?
Less ditzy staff: Shit, you talked to the press! You know you're not supposed to talk to those assholes!
Ditzy blonde intern: Shit! Are they gonna fire me?
Less ditzy staff: What are you gonna do about this?
Ditzy blonde intern, after long pause: Does politico do takebacks?
Washington, DC
Boss man: There's a men's bathroom and a women's bathroom. I don't want to see anyone using the women's bathroom… Use the men's room.
Worker: You talking to me? Are you saying I use the women's room? I don't! Who told you that?
Boss man: I don't know who it is. I don't care. Just use the men's bathroom.
Worker: Is it me? Cuz you're looking at me.
Boss man: Fine, it's you. Don't use the women's bathroom.
Worker: Who told you I was using the women's bathroom? I don't use the women's bathroom.
Boss man: I didn't say it was you, but if you think it was you, it was you. Don't use the womens bathroom.
Newark, New Jersey
Female coworker #1: Ohmigod, my plant's dead…
Female coworker #2: I can't believe you whined and complained for months about how you didn't get a “new hire plant” like everyone else, and when you get one… a week later it's dead because you don't water it.
Female coworker #3: I heard all these plants are responsibility tests. If you kill the plant, you're gone.
Boss over intercom to coworker #1: Report to my office immediately.
Female coworker #2: He knows about the plant.
Female coworker #1: Fuck.
McKinney, Texas
Office woman #1, listening to police scanner: Why are all those stupid people out in the rain?
Office woman #2: I understand that when it's time to leave work, you want to leave.
Office guy: I would rather drown than spend another hour here at work than I have to.
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: Underpaid
Dock worker: You know, it would be really cool if we found an eyeball floating in a one of these bottles!
Dock supervisor: What?! Do you know how much paperwork I would have if that happened?
Syosset, New York
Colleague on phone: He sits in his office reading the paper, and then he wanders out, shits on everybody, eats their French fries, and leaves.
London
Canadia
Elected official: I think it's working, but we have to change something.
Casper, Wyoming
