Admin to staff in morning staff meeting: Maybe I should just send the entire calendar so you all know the due dates for the entire year and can plan ahead.
Boss: Huh! An informed staff. That's an idea…
Indianapolis, Indiana
Admin to staff in morning staff meeting: Maybe I should just send the entire calendar so you all know the due dates for the entire year and can plan ahead.
Boss: Huh! An informed staff. That's an idea…
Indianapolis, Indiana
Boss to peon: I think you should be in charge of figuring this out so we can blame you if it all blows up.
Peon: I'm not really comfortable with that approach.
Boss: I think you should learn to work with a lesser degree of comfort.
Washington, DC
Manager: Yeah, I called the bank to get our change ready, but half the time you call them and it's not ready when we get there!
Coworker: Isn't that like what we do, though?
Pizza Place
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Lola
Director on phone with client: You need to complete a survey to assess your facility's readiness for the next stage of this project. Just don't think your answers will have any impact on the final decision.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Xen
Boss to coworker coming in: Great! My A-Team is here! I need you to go out there and show me your A-ness.
St Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Blueshirt
Co-manager to another, during Christmas party: You can't keep on screaming “I need this, I need this” as you pin an employee to your lap!
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Zen
General manager: If there's a problem report immediately, don't wait for an opportune moment.
Teenage intern: Is that a real word?
General manager: What? “Opportune”?
Teenage intern: No, “moment.”
Derry, New Hampshire
Male college admissions rep at event: Wait. Do I need to be somewhere? Do I need to be doing something?
Female superior: You need to stand here now, and look pretty.
Male college admissions rep: Done.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: it's like this all the time
Trainer: Doing a job correctly is usually better than doing it wrong.
Trainee: Are you fucking serious, bro?
Gunter Air Force Base
Montgomery, Alabama
Overheard by: At least someone realizes it too
Older IT sales guy: Years ago, I once sold to a porn company without even knowing it.
Younger IT sales guy: I bet porn companies would be great to work with–they've got so many IT needs!
Older IT sales guy: Not really. They really stiffed me.
Detroit, Michigan
