Office Politics

Employee #1: I am very observational.
Employee #2: You mean “observant.”
Employee #1: No, I mean I notice everything that goes on in this office.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Stephanie Wells

Coworker, about performance reviews: That's where the managers are. In the conference room with their people, doing it.

Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Wish I was a manager

Office drone: Ahhh… patronization and condescension… Refuge of the insecure and stupid. (hopeless manager enter room) Why, hello John!
Hopeless manager: Who are you talking about?
Office drone, brightly: No-one!

Canberra
Australia

Overheard by: Propaganda machine

Gangsta office administrator #1: Yo, where'd you put those envelopes, yo?
Gangsta office administrator #2: Yo, I don't know, yo… Look above ya head!

Manhattan, New York

Team leader to claims adjuster: You know what? Sometimes you just gotta go in there, bend over and say “here, John*, just take me.”

Brentwood, Tennessee

Betty's Developed a Bias for Action

Coworker: It doesn't have to work, we just have to do something!

Manhattan, New York

Coworker #1: Could you let me out of the office?
Coworker #2: You didn't bring your entrance card?
Coworker #1: No, and I'm not sure how I got in.

Stockholm
Sweden

Overheard by: Johan

Admin to staff in morning staff meeting: Maybe I should just send the entire calendar so you all know the due dates for the entire year and can plan ahead.
Boss: Huh! An informed staff. That's an idea…

Indianapolis, Indiana

Boss to peon: I think you should be in charge of figuring this out so we can blame you if it all blows up.
Peon: I'm not really comfortable with that approach.
Boss: I think you should learn to work with a lesser degree of comfort.

Washington, DC

Manager: Yeah, I called the bank to get our change ready, but half the time you call them and it's not ready when we get there!
Coworker: Isn't that like what we do, though?

Pizza Place
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Lola