Office Politics

Boss to underling: Logistically, the cheese is more complicated for us.

Prince Frederick, Maryland

Manager: Now why are we being sued on this one?
Employee: Because our client was at fault for the accident.
Manager: We have such idiots for clients! Where the hell do we find such morons to buy insurance from us in the first place?!

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Attorney: It's already been filed with the court! It has a file-mark on it. You can't un-file something!

Austin, Texas

Employee #1: I am very observational.
Employee #2: You mean “observant.”
Employee #1: No, I mean I notice everything that goes on in this office.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Stephanie Wells

Coworker, about performance reviews: That's where the managers are. In the conference room with their people, doing it.

Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Wish I was a manager

Office drone: Ahhh… patronization and condescension… Refuge of the insecure and stupid. (hopeless manager enter room) Why, hello John!
Hopeless manager: Who are you talking about?
Office drone, brightly: No-one!

Canberra
Australia

Overheard by: Propaganda machine

Gangsta office administrator #1: Yo, where'd you put those envelopes, yo?
Gangsta office administrator #2: Yo, I don't know, yo… Look above ya head!

Manhattan, New York

Team leader to claims adjuster: You know what? Sometimes you just gotta go in there, bend over and say “here, John*, just take me.”

Brentwood, Tennessee

Betty's Developed a Bias for Action

Coworker: It doesn't have to work, we just have to do something!

Manhattan, New York

Coworker #1: Could you let me out of the office?
Coworker #2: You didn't bring your entrance card?
Coworker #1: No, and I'm not sure how I got in.

Stockholm
Sweden

Overheard by: Johan