Worker #1: I feel horrible.
Worker #2: What's up?
Worker #1: I took that situation to the boss…
Worker #2: And?
Worker #1: You know you screwed up when Satan looks you in the eye and says, “what the hell were you thinking?”
Oklahoma
Worker #1: I feel horrible.
Worker #2: What's up?
Worker #1: I took that situation to the boss…
Worker #2: And?
Worker #1: You know you screwed up when Satan looks you in the eye and says, “what the hell were you thinking?”
Oklahoma
Boss to employee: This is a “sorry you're leaving” card. But someone's written in it “happy birthday,” and someone else has written “congratulations on the engagement, and on the baby.”
Cambridge
England
VP of development in grant meeting: Shooting the bird is not a process.
Cedar Street
Austin, Texas
Boss: I stuck this in your box.
Employee: You just stay out of my box!
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: BWC
Mentor: You really shouldn't wear shorts to work.
Intern: I know, but I had to.
Mentor: Why?
Intern: It was raining.
Oil Company
Houston, Texas
Admin, poking head into boss' office: What's that smell?!
Boss: You can smell that?!
Admin: Yes, and it's definitely coming from here.
Boss: I got a sub and they put onions on it! I finally figured it out and moved my trash can outside the office!
Admin: Thanks a lot! It reeks.
Boss: Better you than me!
Admin: The perks of having a closed office.
Ottawa
Canadia
Manager on phone with customer service: If they shit on me, I'll piss on them.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Cue
Boss to underling: Logistically, the cheese is more complicated for us.
Prince Frederick, Maryland
Manager: Now why are we being sued on this one?
Employee: Because our client was at fault for the accident.
Manager: We have such idiots for clients! Where the hell do we find such morons to buy insurance from us in the first place?!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Attorney: It's already been filed with the court! It has a file-mark on it. You can't un-file something!
Austin, Texas
