Manager to another: Actually, 'due diligence' is for the unsuccessful.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Manager to another: Actually, 'due diligence' is for the unsuccessful.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Claims adjuster: Sir, insurance companies just don't work like that. (pause) We can't let the body shop do whatever they want. They have to follow an estimate. (pause) Sir. (pause) Well, didn't you just say the shop was full of liars and druggies? (pause) Sir, I'm trying to help you get your car fixed, but you keep calling us druggies and saying that god is going to smite us.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: I shouldn't have skipped church yesterday
Male furniture salesperson to female furniture salesperson: Did you go down on those two women yet?
Howell, Michigan
Coworker #1: We need printing guidelines for clients.
Coworker #2: I don't care what they print on: Mylar, Duratran, paper-machete…
Kenilworth, New Jersey
Overheard by: Scared Employee
VP, strolling into cube farm: Toasters or toaster ovens?
Staffer #1: Toasters.
Staffer #2: Toasters.
Staffer #3: Toaster ovens!
VP: Toasters, right? We already have a toaster oven.
Staffer #4: Definitely toasters.
Staffer #3: No, toaster ovens!
VP: Wait, I want to hear Alice*'s perspective here.
Staffer #3: Toaster ovens do more and they break less often!
Several other staffers: But toasters are faster!
Staffer #5: Boo!
Staffer #3: Never mind, I withdraw my comments. I'm being booed.
VP: Careful, or you'll get voted off the island!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Longtime standing employee: You've used up all your mulligans.
Temp employee: What do you mean? Today? This week?
Longtime standing employee: For the remainder of your stay.
Escondido, California
Overheard by: Mike G
Network drone: You can tell me my boss has a foot fetish but you can't tell me if I'm getting a promotion or not?
Burlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: No More Stilettos in the Workplace
Office woman, annoyed her desk was rearranged: He keeps putting office supplies in my private area!
Jacksonville, Florida
Coworker, overhearing managers laugh: Sounds like they are discussing Mark's salary.
Melbourne
Australia
American suit to British suit: At some point in everybody's life you'll hear someone telling their CFO to suck it.
British suit: That's absolute nutters.
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: Sadie Kossovski
