Office Politics

Next: Toilet Paper, Over or Under?

VP, strolling into cube farm: Toasters or toaster ovens?
Staffer #1: Toasters.
Staffer #2: Toasters.
Staffer #3: Toaster ovens!
VP: Toasters, right? We already have a toaster oven.
Staffer #4: Definitely toasters.
Staffer #3: No, toaster ovens!
VP: Wait, I want to hear Alice*'s perspective here.
Staffer #3: Toaster ovens do more and they break less often!
Several other staffers: But toasters are faster!
Staffer #5: Boo!
Staffer #3: Never mind, I withdraw my comments. I'm being booed.
VP: Careful, or you'll get voted off the island!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Rose Fox

The Good News Is, It Will Not Be Lengthy.

Longtime standing employee: You've used up all your mulligans.
Temp employee: What do you mean? Today? This week?
Longtime standing employee: For the remainder of your stay.

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Mike G

This Office Has a Way Of Keeping You on Your Toes.

Network drone: You can tell me my boss has a foot fetish but you can't tell me if I'm getting a promotion or not?

Burlington, Massachusetts

Overheard by: No More Stilettos in the Workplace

Career Tip: Stay Out Of Your Colleagues' Private Areas, Dear Reader

Office woman, annoyed her desk was rearranged: He keeps putting office supplies in my private area!

Jacksonville, Florida

Either That or Your Penis.

Coworker, overhearing managers laugh: Sounds like they are discussing Mark's salary.

Melbourne
Australia

The British Snack Food?

American suit to British suit: At some point in everybody's life you'll hear someone telling their CFO to suck it.
British suit: That's absolute nutters.

New Haven, Connecticut

Overheard by: Sadie Kossovski

The Bastards All Called in Sick Today

Supervisor's son: Do you pay them to be here?
Supervisor: Sometimes it feels like it.

Golden Valley, Minnesota

Overheard by: Bill

Six Thousand Feet and Pregnant Failed to Hold TV Viewers' Attentions

Manager to duty worker: Oh, and tell them we've got a few babies flying around so expect a call from us next week.

Sheffield
England

Guess That Explains Why Your Eyebrows Are Singed.

Worker #1: I feel horrible.
Worker #2: What's up?
Worker #1: I took that situation to the boss…
Worker #2: And?
Worker #1: You know you screwed up when Satan looks you in the eye and says, “what the hell were you thinking?”

Oklahoma

Raise Your Hand If You Kind Of Want to Work in This Office

Boss to employee: This is a “sorry you're leaving” card. But someone's written in it “happy birthday,” and someone else has written “congratulations on the engagement, and on the baby.”

Cambridge
England

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist