Owner: Have you proposed to her yet? When are you gonna propose to that girl? You're not getting a bonus, a raise, or a review until you get down on your knees.
Employee: (smirks)
Owner: For her!
Rogers, Arkansas
Owner: Have you proposed to her yet? When are you gonna propose to that girl? You're not getting a bonus, a raise, or a review until you get down on your knees.
Employee: (smirks)
Owner: For her!
Rogers, Arkansas
Coworker, after conversation with boss: A fetus could come up with better ideas.
Melville, New York
Supervisor: I need your traveler in the system by 2.
Employee: Okay, I'll get on that after lunch.
Supervisor: Sounds good. (notices ass pressed up against window) And tell Nick his friend isn't allowed to bring him lunch anymore.
Rio Rancho, New Mexico
Office chick #1: Hey, Lauren* wants you to answer her phone while she's out.
Office chick #2: Tell her to go jerk off in a corner.
Main Street
Peekskill, New York
Overheard by: Pam Beesly
Tech guy #1: Jimmy Carter’s son has a MySpace page.
Tech guy #2: Who the hell is Jimmy Carter?
600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
Experienced healthcare worker: I told you not to tell our boss that I let you do that procedure, but you told her. Why did you tell her?
New Asian healthcare worker: Sometimes you talk and I just nod my head.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Alarmed healthcare worker
Female office worker to another: Most of the stuff on my to-do list is stuff I have to do.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Whaaaaat?
Male VP: We'll beat it off for now.
Female general counsel: We'll beat it off for the next five years.
Consultant: That's probably the longest we can beat it off for.
Female general counsel: And then I'll retire.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: If I so much as smile, I'll get fired.
Employee #1: I can’t believe they made that bitch Employee of the Month.
Employee #2: Me, neither.
Employee #1: I’m going to the general manager.
Employee #2: Yeah, I’ll back you up.
Later.
Boss: Who the hell told her that was a good idea to come see me?
Employee #2: I don’t know, I tried to stop her.
999 South Main Street
Salt Lake City, Utah
Cubicle drone #1 (while physically beating cubicle drone #2): You could be replaced by a rubber tree plant!
Bowmanville
Ontario
Canadia
