Receptionist: You know, this is not the first time you’ve offered to lick my eye.
Assistant: I don’t doubt the validity of that statement.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: weeelll….hmm.
Receptionist: You know, this is not the first time you’ve offered to lick my eye.
Assistant: I don’t doubt the validity of that statement.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: weeelll….hmm.
Older woman: It isn’t good for your metabolism to eat too little.
Younger woman: Yeah, I remember when I was a kid and saw those starving African kids on TV. I said, “They aren’t fat, look at their bellies!” That’s what happens when you don’t eat enough, you get bloated.
1500 University Drive
Billings, Montana
Co-worker #1: Do you want to go to lunch?
Co-worker #2: I’m on a diet.
Co-worker #1: But we’re going to get ice cream afterward.
800 E. 96th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
IT guy: Does anyone want to help me move some equipment into the U-Haul downstairs?
Co-worker #1: You know I would, but I’m just not wearing the shoes for it today.
Co-worker #2: Why don’t you put on your tennis shoes? I see them under your desk.
Co-worker #1: Shh!
3100 West Lake Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Samantha Quinnsbury
Editor: Oh, get me a cinnamon roll too. Here’s a twenty.
Reporter: A twenty? The only people that have money in the middle of the week are drug dealers.
169 West Nepessing Street
Lapeer, Michigan
Dell Support operator: OK, sir, now I’m going to need you to insert your System CD. Do you have that handy?
Irish customer: Is dat dis Pentanium ting?
The other listeners on conference laugh.
Dell Support operator: Excuse me, sir, there’s a lot of background noise. I’m just going to turn off the other microphones.
–As a novel approach to caller boredom while waiting for a techSupp droid to become free, Dell have instituted a situation where callers get to listen in while said droid deals with the calls ahead of one in the queue.
So the overhearing was actually pretty widely geographically
distributed, between:
The charmin’ Irish Callcentre colleen, who was wherever in Ireland Dell have their support centre;
Her interlocutor, who by his accent was also in that country;
The various other listeners-in, who might have been anywhere in
Europe;
Me, at Long Lane, Newbury, England.
Overheard by: CDWriter
Boss: What should we call it? Try thinking animal names.
Employee #1: What about “Kumquat”?
Employee #2: A kumquat isn’t an animal.
Boss: I like your thinking though.
45 Main Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Helpful Co-worker: Does anyone want anything from Starbucks?
Tired Co-worker: Yeah, get me a triple iced mocha with a shot of crack
in it.
827 Fort Street
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jade Shiroma
Manager: Will you guys stop talking during my presentation?
Underling: I wasn’t talking, I was asleep…
Abingdon Science Park
Abingdon, Oxfordshire
UK
Site
On Wednesday we will be launching OverheardInTheOffice.com. This will be the site for all the things you overhear over the cubicle walls at work, as well as the BS that people spout during meetings. Is your boss an a-hole? Does he “leverage” his idiocy “proactively” into hilarious quotes? Then send them to us here. We’d like as many submissions as possible before we go live, from all over the country (and the world)!
Banner
In addition, we need a new banner for the site. All you arty types: take our logo [gif | PSD] and run with it. We’ll use a bunch of the best ones, and we’ll give you credit and a link. E-mail us your work here (with “Overheard in the Office” in the subject line).
Suit: It was 6 hours of nonstop powerdrinking. My wife was at a Christmas party and asked me to pick her up, and I said, “Even I would not get behind the wheel now!”
350 Madison Ave.
New York, NY
