Man on phone: Okay. (pause) Well, can I speak to your supervisor? (pause) Hello? Can I speak to your supervisor? (pause) What's your name? (pause) Nathan? Nathan who? (pause) You there? Nathan who? (pause) Okay. Well, do you have some sort of employee number? (pause) Hello? (pause) Why? Because you're a dickhead! You're a fucking idiot, mate! (hangs up, talks to employee) Well, that didn't work.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: James
Cockney waitress to customer: We haven't got any chicken sandwiches, but I can do an impersonation!
Rye
England
Male coworker: Just tell me what you work out in.
Female coworker: No.
Dallas, Texas
Boss on phone: No, no, you gotta understand, I need some help down there…I’m not the pusher, I’m the receiver.
444 Spear Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: erikrand
Head of IT: Can we get those new computers?
CFO: Sorry, it’s not in the budget this year.
He walks over to the calendar.
CFO: Hey, isn’t this last year’s calendar? When are you going to put up the correct one?
IT Drone: Sorry, a new calendar isn’t in the budget this year.
75 South Church Street
Pittsfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Joe
Partner: Can you please find a nice Jewish lawyer who can unfuck this situation for me?
Dallas, Texas
Office drone #1: Would you go get me a coffee, please?
Office drone #2: What?
Office drone #1: I asked you to get me some coffee.
Office drone #2: (silence)
Office drone #1: I did say “please.”
Office drone #2: Okay, then. (pause) No, thank you.
Manhattan, New York
Female drone: Would you give that to me now, please? I really need it.
Male drone: I already did it; look again.
Female drone: Oh! Oh! There it is! It went straight into my junk!
Eldersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: irrelevant
Worker #1: So, is everyone coming for break?
Worker #2: Not me, I have to stay and make pirate hats.
Worker #3: That's the worst excuse ever to avoid us.
Worker #2: Well, I cant have a drawer labeled “pirate hats” without pirate hats. That'd just be silly.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Code Monkey
Office assistant: Do you want me to send out the “Save the Date” announcement?
Boss: Yes, thanks. That would be helpful.
Office assistant: No problem! I’m happy to spread your STD around!
Boss: [Blank stare.]Office assistant: That sounded bad. But don’t worry… I’m sure no one heard me.
Point Street
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: I Thought This Was a Healthcare Company
