Coworker: Is that a copy of Ted Nugent’s new book?
Boss: It is. He and his wife wrote it. Grill It and Kill It.
Coworker: Is that him on the cover? With his wife?
Boss: Yeah. She’s hot, isn’t she?
Coworker: She really is. Way to go, Nuge.
Boss: He must have started seeing her when he was in Damn Yankees. What was their song?
Coworker: “Can you take me high enough…”
Boss: Yeah. Those really were the days.
249 West 17th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Will Leitch
Art director #1: I need a picture of a Doublemint gum wrapper.
Art director #2: Just Google it.
Art director #1: Oh, okay… Hey, they blocked Google!
Art director #2: They didn’t block Google! I use it 30 times a day!
Art director #1: G-O-G-G-L-E?
Art director #2: … That’s ‘goggle.’
151 West 34th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: risdchic
Boss: I need her strapped to her desk with a phone in her ear at all times… I need her making money.
41 East 11th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Female office worker #1: I had a job stuffing envelopes and it destroyed my cuticles.
Female office worker #2: Yeah, I had one where I had to fold letters all day and I got a ton of paper cuts.
Only male in department: Oh, I have a story about a bloody hand job.
Troy, New York
Overheard by: Sneaker
Peon: I can’t believe they’re having us do this even though we’re the low men on the scrotum pole!
Times Square
New York, New York
White coworker: Yo, last night was like a fuckin’ rap video! We had a limo and a bottle of fine-ass champagne! And then we went to the Hustler club! Oh, and I’m still wasted. When is the trial date for [technology company]?
153 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: A. Goldstein
Female office worker: My mother's having surgery to remove a tumor in her breast today, so count me out for the lunch meeting, I'm going to wait for a phone call on her condition.
Male office worker (uncomfortably): Uh, I hope she's ok. Have you heard from Chris today?
Female office worker: No, he's coming in, right?
Male office worker: As far as I know, hope he doesn't have breast cancer.
Law Firm
New York City, New York
Office lady #1: So it's actually a real word?
Office lady #2: Yes, look it up online in urban dictionary. It's a real word.
Office lady #1: But how is it even possible? Is it really like what it sounds?
Office lady #2: Yes, just as you do it in your tea, you do it the same way, that's why it's called “tea bagging.”
Manhattan, New York
Receptionist #1: Do you mind watching the phones? I have a conference call. It’ll probably last about 30 minutes.
Receptionist #2, confused: Who do you have to call?
Receptionist #1, very seriously: My cat psychic.
5th Avenue
New York City, New York
