Admin #1: What are you eating? it smells terrible.
Admin #2: It's yogurt, for Christ's sake!
Admin #1: What kind of yogurt?
Admin #2: Strawberry yogurt!
Admin #1: With curdled strawberries! It stinks!
Admin #2: Look, Joe* was just here using the microwave to heat up ass.
Admin #1: That ass smelled delicious.
Fordham University
The Bronx, New York
Older office lady, watering plant: What, did you ask the same question as me?
Younger male colleague: What question?
Older office lady, lowering voice: About Natalee Holloway.
Younger male colleague: No, I just wanted to get some water.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Intern: Are you still sick?
Female doctor with a deep chest cough: I just need to be pounded.
Manhattan, New York
Engineer on phone, in happy voice: Kevin! Congratulations! (pause, then in sad voice) Oh… my condolences.
Fishkill, New York
Overheard by: Bored Engineer
Canadian: Are you using the same water bottle from two months ago?
Brit: Yeah, so?
Canadian: You know the particles break down and become carcinogens, right?
Brit: That's how I get strong.
Manhattan, New York
Boss lady: Who are we missing? Mario*?
(Mario* comes into conference room)
Manager: Aha! I thought I smelled ravioli!
Boss lady: Ignore him, he's drunk.
Manager: Yep, it's after noon!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Legally blind patient: Ow! Owww, owwww! Hey, you can't do this to me! Where's the doctor?
Man in white coat: I am the doctor.
Hospital
Manhattan, New York
Coworker: Okay, have a good weekend. I'm off to a sweet sixteen party. (pause) From Bloomsday to sweet sixteen: the sublime to the ridiculous.
Manhattan, New York
Female engineer: They don't have any steel members to erect yet.
Annoying guy: That's what she said!
Female engineer, leaving: No, for the last time, she never said anything. Ever. Now I'm going to call your mother to pick you up after school. Fucking trolls!
Manhattan, New York
