If My Knowledge Of 9 to 5 Is Correct, Here's Where the Rat Poison Comes in

Male manager in office full of women: I can't believe with all these bitches here I actually have to get my own coffee!

Hartselle, Alabama

Overheard by: OMG! He's got a Death Wish

Posted on May 13, 2010
Alabama, Bosses and Underlings, Insults, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality

More Like BBC

PhD student #1: We need something that's heavy and puts you to sleep.
PhD student #2: Like cheese?
PhD student #1: No, not like cheese.

University of Århus
Denmark

Posted on April 20, 2010
Compare and contrast, Education, Europe, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences, Students

They're Still Quivering

Director to peon: Hey! My thighs have been thinking about you all day! (awkward silence) Um, because of the fudge you gave me, that is.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Another nearby Peon

Posted on April 2, 2010
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Louisiana, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality

…Hairy Question

Health inspector to commissioner: So you might be getting a call from this lady about making burgers out of beaver meat.
Secretary to health inspector: Have you ever eaten beaver?
Commissioner, as she walks away: You people can discuss this…

Department of Health
Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Alfie

Posted on March 29, 2010
Admins, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Vermont

This Year It Was Mostly Switchblades and Liquor.

Office drone: Well, in the past I'd seen him hand out stuffed animals and candy to kids, but this year he didn't do that… from what I saw.

Prosser, Washington

Overheard by: was santa in a windowless van

Posted on March 11, 2010
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Washington

Never Hire a Ballerina

Coworker on cell: I have a confession to make fast, horse peeps! Are you ready for this? (pause) The reason I have to go home is to do number two. Because last time I think it came out like a subway sandwich. And the toilet doesn?t work upstairs anymore. (pause) Yes, that was me! So there, I feel better now.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Trevor Arnold

Posted on March 10, 2010
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Restroom, Weirdness

And Now I'm a Great Big Carnivwhore

CSR #1: Yeah, I was a vegan for a few years.
CSR #2: What happened?
CSR #1: Chicken happened.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on March 10, 2010
Customer Service, Diet & Weight, Indiana, Meals and Snacks, Questions

PETA Members Will Say Anything

Coworker #1: Veal is unborn calf.
Coworker #2: Unborn? I thought it was just babies.
Coworker #1, somberly: No. Cut 'em right out of the womb.
Coworker #2: I'm never eating veal again.
Coworker #1: That's why it's so tender.

Gainesville, Florida