Southern woman: No! You suck the head because that’s where all the juice is!
Confused employee #1: I thought your shirt said “Bite the head off and eat the meat!”
Confused employee #2: What the fuck are you sadistic bitches talking about?
Southern woman (laughing): Crawdads! I’m talking about crawdads!
West Fargo, North Dakota
Overheard by: Orion
Coworker #1: What are we getting for lunch today?
Coworker #2: Wang.
Coworker #1: Again? I'm sick of Wang.
Coworker #2: That's a lie, you never get sick of Wang.
Glastonbury, Connecticut
Overheard by: Can't wait for my contract to end
Employee: Hi! Can I help you?
Woman: Can I have a six-inch BLT on Italian?
Employee: I’m sorry, we’re out of Italian.
Woman: Can I just have white bread?
Employee: That’s the same as Italian.
Woman: Do you have plain bread?
13600 Solomons Island Road
Solomons, Maryland
Overheard by: I hate Jared.
Supervisor: Hey, do you mind training a new hire and going over some calls?
Employee: Sure, let me just put away my taco.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: CDB
Male coworker, sipping from mug: I love peppermint tea!
Female coworker, also sipping from mug: Peppermint tea makes me fart.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confusedbutamused
Employee #1: Why are you pulling all of those nuts off the shelf?
Employee #2: They were recalled because of the salmonella outbreak.
Employee #1: Oh. I didn't know there was peanut butter in those nuts.
Ohio
Overheard by: Sofa Kingdom
Coworker to another: Give him he meat. That's what he wants.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Dina
Manager: I'm going to go take my break now. I have to feed my fat roll.
Borthwick Avenue
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Overheard by: I have one too
Man on phone: Okay, so I heard you have a raccoon in your freezer.
[Pause]Man on phone: How did it get there?
[Pause]Man on phone: Did you kill it? What do you plan do with its body? What do you mean no one wants it?
S. Sycamore Street
Elizabethton
Tennessee
Overheard by: concerned for the racoon
Police officer (signing to the tune of Animal Crackers in My Soup): I like maggots in my soup…
Police Department
Randolph, New Jersey
