Overly happy admin on phone, on administrative professional's day: Amanda made me cookies! (pause) I know! I want them to feel free to worship me whenever they want! Bowing is optional!
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: and when exactly is computer monkey day?
Mental patient #1: I like oxygen.
Mental patient #2: Me too.
Mental patient #1: Do you have any M&Ms?
Mental patient #2: No, do you?
Mental patient #1: No. I just thought I'd ask.
Wichita Falls, Texas
Overheard by: I love my job
Assistant: Can I go home sick?
Boss: Why?
Assistant: I ate too much gum.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: OMG
Engineer: If he's turning 30 and only brought in a dozen doughnuts, I'm going to kick him in the nuts!
Cambridge
Canadia
Overheard by: Ouch!
Office assistant #1: Lisa goes to lunch everyday at he same time. I wonder where she goes, I don't see how she affords to eat out on a daily basis, considering we don't get paid that much. I bring my lunch and eat at my desk because I just can't do it.
Office assistant #2: Uh-huh.
Office assistant #1: I just don't know where she goes.
Government Center
Charlotte, North Carolina
Cubicle chick #1: They have free sandwiches today? I will be throwing elbows to be the first for that action.
Cubicle chick #2: You really are a delicate flower.
Eden Prairie, Minnesota
Overheard by: nic_bitch
Barista: What can I get you, sir?
Customer: I'll have a grande toffee…
Barista: I'm sorry, sir, we do not have any toffee items in the shop any more.
Customer: Then I'll just have a large broken dream.
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Worker #1: This has high-fructose corn syrup.
Worker #2: So you’re drinking colored sugar water.
Worker #1: This doesn’t even contain water.
Worker #2: What’s the first ingredient?
Worker #1: Oh.
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, NY
Lady, waiting in line at fast food place: What are your milkshakes made out of?
Cute girl serving: Ah, milk.
Lady: Oh. I'm allergic to milk, can I get it without the milk?
Cute girl: It's a milkshake, and we're a burger joint, we don't have the technology to separate milk from milk.
Lady: Oh, I see. But can I get it without milk?
Cute girl: Sure. Is juice okay, then?
North Lethbridge
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Allestra
Girl: Did you go to sleep right away or were there bedtime activities?
Boy: No, we did not have sex because I was so full of pie!
The Loop
Chicago, Illinois
