Employee at microwave: You know those meatballs have meat in them?
Microwaving employee: Right? Hence, meatballs.
Employee at microwave: Don’t you know the day?
Microwaving employee: Sure, it is Friday all day.
Employee at microwave: Well, it’s Lent, too.
Microwaving employee: You don’t say… Seeing as how I am a big Jew we don’t celebrate that.
Tinley Park, Illinois
Teacher to students, in creepy deep voice: Want a lollipop? I have many flavors!
Sydney
Australia
Defiant executive: I busted up a funeral procession on my way back from lunch. Can’t wait for that karma.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Worker chick, looking at something on floor: What is that?
Worker guy #1: Oh, that’s a… crab.
Worker chick: We have crabs?
Worker guy #1: Yeah, I see them in the parking lot, too!
Worker guy #2: Soup!
Cypress and Westshore
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: wish I had protection…
Office lady #1: As soon as you put out cookies or candy or whatever, people around here descend on it. They're like cockroaches.
Office lady #2, eating free candy: Oh, thank you very much! I'm a cockroach, am I?
Office lady #1: Fine. It's like magic, okay?
Office lady #2: Magical cockroaches?
Office lady #1: Magical cockroaches.
Office lady #2: Well, it's good to know that at least I'm a magical cockroach.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Office worker #1: I'm so damn hungry, I need real food.
Office worker #2: Yeah, I can imagine that liquid diet wouldn't be too filling or satisfying.
Office worker #2: I feel like I'm an African refugee.
Chantilly, Virginia
Doctor #1: I always say, “Carrots are like sandpaper for the colon.”
Doctor #2: Yeah, see, most people I know just eat them.
1500 East Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Coworker, walking into break room: Something smells fishy…
Ditzy blonde coworker with freshly nuked boxed lunch: Well, it can't be me, mine's chicken. (reads label on box) Oh, wait, mine is fish…
Castle Rock, Colorado
Overheard by: Sparky
Jenn: Oh my god, Anne, I can smell that from here!
(everyone in cubicles around Jenn and Anne look up at Anne)
Anne (looking horrified): I'm peeling an orange! She's smelling my orange!
Kent Street
Sydney, New South Wales
Australia
Office girl #1: Obviously, I just brewed coffee, right? So of course she has to be the first to get some. Well, I walk into the kitchen and she's facing the freezer with the freezer door open, and she has the coffee pot up to her nose, and she's smelling it. I have no idea what the hell was going on.
Office girl #2: What the eff?
Office girl #1: Yeah… I'm thinking that maybe… No, no, I really have no idea.
Sacramento, California
