Butter Me Up If You Must

Guy engineer #1: Hey, want a muffin?
Guy engineer #2: Dude, you’re my muffin.
Guy engineer #1, in small voice: I feel uncomfortable now.

E. County Road
Wellington, Colorado

Posted on May 3, 2021
Colorado, Compliments, Coworkers, Default, Engineers, Feelings, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality

Worst. Information Desk Clerk. Ever.

Indignant office girl: So she was like “and I'm going to so-and-so cafe and I'm eatin' so-and-so…”

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on May 1, 2021
Employees, Meals and Snacks, Tennessee, Words

I Can Now Imagine Nothing Else

Coworker #1: I wasn't that drunk by that point. I mean, I was sober enough to realize that they were branding each other's asses with Christmas cookie cutters.
Boss: Sure…
Coworker #1: No, legit. Sticking the cookie cutters in the fire and branding each other's asses.
Coworker #2: Can you imagine shacking up with someone with an inverted Christmas pointing right to your pooper?

Hicksville, New York

Overheard by: Traumatized

Posted on April 24, 2021
Body Parts, Bosses, Coworkers, Drinking, Meals and Snacks, New York, Weirdness

The Boss May Have Delegated His Digestion to Me

(toilet, stall to the left)
Coworker: Corn? Corn? When did I have corn?

Harrisburg , Pennsylvania

Overheard by: in between stalls

Posted on April 23, 2021
Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks, Pennsylvania, Questions, Restroom

I'm a Little Vegan on the Details

Coworker #1: I feel so bad for them.
Coworker #2: I know, their son is in a coma and only has 30% of his brain working. He's a vegetarian.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Can't believe no one else heard that

Posted on April 23, 2021
Coworkers, Family, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, Pennsylvania, Weirdness

I Was Delighted to Learn There Was an Old Gummy Bear Stuck to It

Cube dweller #1: There's one bagel left.
Cube dweller #2: I think that's the one that was on the floor.
Cube dweller #3: No, I ate that one.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on April 11, 2021
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, New Jersey, Offers and requests

Why You Shouldn't Tell Your Co-Workers You Speak English

Temp #1: Are you drinking hot water?
Temp #2: With some lemon, yeah. Why?
Temp #1: Doesn't hot water make you have to crap?
Temp #2: What?
Temp #1: Hot water makes my grandmother have to crap.
Temp #2: What?

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on April 8, 2021
Family, Health & Hygiene, Interns & Temps, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Restroom, Tennessee, Weirdness

How Natural Selection Works

Office worker #1: Hey, you can eat the wrapper of this gum!
Office worker #2: No, you can't… How do you know?
Office worker #3: Yeah, you can't. I just tried it.

Springfield, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Allison

Posted on April 3, 2021
Coworkers, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness

Then We Give It to the Clients, and It's a Happy Ending for Everyone

Data geek #1: Do they massage the data before they give it the clients?
Data geek #2: Oh, we massage it like it's Kobe beef.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Posted on March 29, 2021
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Tech People, Utah, Weirdness

In My Defense, I Also Talk about Sex All Day Long

Chick: Dude, you’re such a poser. You talk about food all day long and then go home and eat salad. You’re not a real fatty like me. Talk to me when you join the club.

500 West 4th Street
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Posted on March 18, 2021
Bimbettes, Diet & Weight, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina

Meals and Snacks