Dentist receptionist #1: What kind of coffee would you like? We have hazelnut, french roast…
Dentist receptionist #2: I could have sworn you just said: “weasel nut”.
Dentist receptionist #1: That’s my favorite flavor.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Just waiting
Extra nice granny: Good god, if they need more than three gallons of gravy we are in big trouble.
Montezuma
Prescott, Arizona
Overheard by: Tom
Accounting drone: Is someone eating fucking jockstraps and dirty socks now? There really needs to be some kind of restrictions on the food people are allowed to eat in here. How about a guideline like: “If it smells like a dead hooker, treat it like a dead hooker and eat it in your car.”? Thank god we don’t have any Indian programmers.
Milwaukee Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Wisconsinite on a diet, talking about quitting her walking team: I quit the stepping. Right now I am focusing all my energy on not eating cheese.
Eden Prairie, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nic
Employee yelling to co-worker: Will! What did I say about fish sticks this morning?!
Hartford, Connecticut
Nurse assistant to patient: Do you want corn, carrots, or peas?
Patient: Cake.
Nurse assistant: Cake isn’t a vegetable. What would you like to drink?
Patient: Cookies.
Nurse assistant: You can’t drink cookies.
St. John Hospital
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: I was laughing
Elderly office assistant to youthful graphic designer: I have to tell you about cabbage, and how nutritious cabbage is…
Water Street
New York City, New York
Token black kid: When Obama is elected we’ll have fried chicken Fridays!
Super white Californian: I love fried chicken!
[they quickly embrace]
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: wallflower
Co-worker: Some people buy rubbers for other reasons: I buy them to eat them.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Cheryl
Engrossed boss: I need some cheese balls, a highlighter and some tartar sauce.
60th Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
