Whitest white girl talking to black store manager: You will see me at your store, fo' sho'… Er… for sure.
Hawthorne, New York
Whitest white girl talking to black store manager: You will see me at your store, fo' sho'… Er… for sure.
Hawthorne, New York
Coworker: Do they speak English in Maine?
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Native of Maine
Secretary: Well, we’re going to Jersey for that meeting, so we could go to the Village Gourmet.
Engineer: Yeah, that was good the last time.
Surveyor: Doesn’t the guy that owns that one own another one too, right down the street from the Village Gourmet?
Secretary: Yeah, but it’s really expensive, everything’s a la carte.
Engineer: What does a la carte mean anyway?
Secretary: Dude, you’re 26 years old and you don’t know what a la fucking carte means?
Surveyor: Aren’t you French Canadian, too?
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: Melissa Miller
Client: Sorry I didn't call you yesterday, I had to chase my 25-pound dog for 40 blocks.
Sales rep: Oh yeah? What kind of dog?
Client: Apparently a Mexican one, if he can't understand when I tell him to stop.
Sales rep: That just means he pretends not to speak English so he doesn't have to listen to you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Clarissa StTacocrotch
Engineeron phone to production guy: Let me call you back. I might have someone check the Mandarin label for correctness.
. . .
Engineer on phone to production guy: Yeah, Pei* can come by tomorrow at 8:00am to check the label. Is that OK?
Production guy: No.
Engineer: Oh, is that a problem?
Production guy: Yeah, there are a lot of much better looking Chinese girls in the building.
Engineer: Uh…You are on speaker phone.
Three-second silence.
Production guy: Well uh yeah, that should be fine.
800 Beaty Street
Davidson, North Carolina
Man: We’re gonna make some bratwurst.
Woman #1: What’s the difference between sausage and bratwurst?
Woman #2: Well, bratwurst is German.
Woman #1: So they’re just German pigs?
Company picnic
Montclair, New Jersey
Loud girl: Aw shit, I'ma cock-block boo. She gon' get your ass.
Quiet guy in next cubicle, to himself: I am so confused by what goes on in this office sometimes.
South Ozone Park
Queens, New York
Overheard by: Charlie
British coworker on cell: You mean the gar-age? I know you people say “gar-age.” And also “al-um-min-I-um.” That's how we should be pronouncing it. The language of Shakespeare.
Washington, DC
Maintenance guy #1 on cell: Hello? Uh-huh… Uh-huh… Si. Sure, okay [hangs up].
Maintenance guy #2: Who was that?
Maintenance guy #1: I don’t know — some Mexican dude. He was talking Spanish and I just agreed with him. I think it was a wrong number.
7160 Riverwood Drive
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Bored Receptionist
Receptionist: How was everything today?
Male client: Oh, it was great! The massage was great, though I couldn't understand a word she said.
Receptionist: Well, it's a good thing that she's not massaging you with her mouth!
Day Spa
Manhattan, New York
