Tour guide: And this here is what we call a “grotto,” from the French word for “water.”
Secret Caverns
Cobleskill, New York
Tour guide: And this here is what we call a “grotto,” from the French word for “water.”
Secret Caverns
Cobleskill, New York
Office drone #1: Did you see how Anderson completely took over the meeting? It was like a crudités.
Office drone #2: Wait… it was like celery sticks??
Office drone #3: I think he means a “coup d'état”
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Drunk Drama Queen
Engineer #1: So, Tom*, I'm going to need you to get me up to date on all of these projects before you leave.
Engineer #2: Yes, I think a Vulcan mind meld is the best option.
Hill Field, Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Redneck employee: So, what do you call a quesadilla?
Latina employee: Quesadilla.
Redneck employee: Really? Just ‘quesadilla’?
Latina employee: [Silence.]Redneck employee: How do you say ‘salt’?
Latina employee: [Walks away.]
1720 Indian Trail Lilburn Road
Norcross, Georgia
Engineer #1: The error is not repeatable.
Engineer #2: Not repeatable?
Engineer #1: Not repeatable.
Poughkeepsie, New York
Asian coworker: What are you doing?
Caucasian coworker: Assembling the trade booth so we all know how to do it.
Asian coworker: Trade booth?
Caucasian coworker: For conventions, we set this up so people know who we are.
Asian coworker: What are you trading? Can I trade?
Caucasian coworker: Nevermind! Go back to your desk!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Defendant: Judge, my probation officer says I was drinking. I told him I wasn’t! I told him he could blow me.
111 South Michigan Avenue
Saginaw, Michigan
Waiter: Señorita, would you like something to drink?
Guest: Si, a mojito, please.
Waiter: Muy bien. And señora — if you need anything else, do not hesitate to ask me. I am your master. I mean, you are my master. No… Uh… I am here to serve you.
Hotel bar
San Jose
Costa Rica
Overheard by: Pura Vida
Intern: I’ve got to start looking for a job.
Secretary: Did you talk to your Placement Office about networking?
Intern: They sent me some contacts. But they were in the Pacific.
Secretary: Did you contact them?
Intern: I don’t even speak Japan.
1010 Gratiot Avenue
Saginaw, Michigan
Manager: We really need to work on proper pronunciation on the phones. We really hear a lot of this, and it definitely needs to be improved. For instance: How do you say a-s-k? Anyone? (pause) You say “ask” not “axed”!
Employee: Well, who say dat?
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: office grunt #12
