Bimbo: I’m probably the most dyslexic you can get without actually being dyslexic.
Sydney, New South Wales
Australia
Overheard by: non-dyslexic
Bimbo: I’m probably the most dyslexic you can get without actually being dyslexic.
Sydney, New South Wales
Australia
Overheard by: non-dyslexic
Guy: … And there’s no way I’ll fellate myself.
Crowded elevator, 201 Sussex Street
Sydney, Australia
Employee: No, your case does not take presidents.
Customer: Presidents?
Employee: Yes, presidents. You are not more important than anyone else.
Customer: [Sighs] Can I just get the tag?
Brevard County Animal Services Enforcement Office
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: waiting for my rabies tag
Air Force interviewer: What did you major in at college?
Interviewee: Chinese. Well, actually, my degree was in ‘Asian and Middle Eastern Languages and Literature.’
Air Force interviewer: Oh, that’s so cool. So, you speak Asian?
Interviewee: Um, yes.
Boston, Massachusetts
Executive assistant: Ooohh! Are you speaking Spanish or Mexican?
Hull, Quebec
Co-worker #1: It’s such a nice day today, I’ll have lunch au naturale.
Co-worker #2: Thanks for the warning.
40 West 57th Street
New York, NY
Co-worker on phone: Hello? I need to talk to the Chinese girl…I don’t remember her name…”Sing-song”, or something like that.
2300 East Prospect Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Manager #1: So, do you have a hurricane there?
Manager #2: There is no hurricane in Atlanta at this time. It’s way over near the Yucatan.
Manager #1: Oh. So will you get any of it?
Manager #2: It’s like a thousand miles away. It’s a little too soon to tell how much it will affect us at this point.
Manager #3: I heard that Wilma is the last name they have on the list.
Manager #1: Ha, ha! What will they do if another one comes? Start over?
Manager #2: They will use Greek letters.
Manager #1: Ha, ha, ha!
Manager #2: That wasn’t a joke.
Manager #1: Oh. Ha, ha! So, the next one will be like Hurricane
“XVII” and then Hurricane “XVIII”? Ha, ha!
Manager #2: No. Those are Roman numerals.
5601 N. Lindero Canyon Road
Westlake Village, California
Employee #1: Don’t you hate it when your anorexia kicks in?
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: When you see things backwards.
Employee #2: Dyslexia.
423 West 8th Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Developer: Is “buttload” hyphenated?
New guy: No, I think it's just one word.
Corner of State & Water
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…
