Bartender: I was sitting at the bar having a beer before work, and an old lady came up and gave me the nicest compliment.
Manager: Oh, yeah? What did she say?
Bartender: She told me that I was a very pretty girl and I should get up off the barstool and quit being a slut all my life.
Manager: So, she really called you a slut.
Bartender: Well… I guess she did.
405 N Interurban Avenue
Richardson, Texas
Beer store employee: Can I help you to your car with that?
Middle-aged customer: I’m a woman. I gave birth. I can carry a case of beer.
Verona, Pennsylvania
U-Haul guy #1: Okay! Pickup on the right…dropoffs on the left.
U-Haul guy #2: Yeah…Pickups on the left, dropoffs on the right.
U-Haul guy #1: What? No! You’re fucking it up, dickhead!
3270 Broadway
New York, NY
Janitor: See, you’re making assumptions. That’s no good. You know what happens when you assume, doncha?
Lawyer: …
Janitor: Yeah, that’s right; you make an ass outta yourself.
15 Somerset Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Paralegal to secretary: He just gave me the finger!
Secretary: What?
Lawyer: I did it creatively.
Secretary: I'm pretty sure that makes you the worst boss ever.
Lawyer: But she was annoying me!
Tall Building
Small City, Indiana
Overheard by: Does someone need a time out?
Manager: New haircolor, huh? Did you fall into a bucket of paint?
Employee: New belt, huh? Did you fall into a buffet?
5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Hotel Manager: Can we help you, ma’am?
Guest: My husband just got on the elevator without me, I can’t believe that little shit/
Hotel Manager: Well, if we track him down we can send him your way.
Guest: If I can’t keep track of him after 30 years you won’t either.
9 East Wilson Street
Madison, Wisconsin
Employee #1: So this presentation on customer service was just so stupid! The speaker kept saying that to diffuse tense situations, you should reiterate back to the customer why they're upset to show that you understand their point of view! I totally disagree. I hate when that happens! That's just so dumb.
Employee #2: So if I understand this correctly, Alan*, you think it's a bad idea to summarize why a customer is unhappy and restate that back to them.
Employee #1: Yes, exactly!
Atlanta, Georgia
Girl #1: They missed their deliverables again. Can you believe that shit?
Girl #2: No, I can’t believe it. I am so frustrated for you. What is the excuse? “Our neanderthal foreheads make it difficult to see the screen?”
275 Battery Street
San Francisco, California
Sales guy: Jason*, quit calling into my sales territory! You are a freaking poacher!
Jason: Poacher? I don’t even like eggs.
Sales guy: You’re an idiot.
6400 Congress Avenue
Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: Fried Egg
