Shouting man on cell: Titty-fucking is sex, honey! You promised!
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Shouting man on cell: Titty-fucking is sex, honey! You promised!
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Customer, excitedly: Yeah, if I do exactly as the judge says, I’ll be off of probation in a year!
Old cashier: In a year? Lucky you! My son has four years of probation.
Customer: Four years? Man, that’s tough. What did he do?
Old cashier: He shot someone! [Breaks into hysterical laughter along with the customer.]
South Adams Street
Marion, Indiana
Overheard by: Just wanted to pay for my groceries
Coworker before meeting: Okay, let me go grab some paper and pen and pretend to care.
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: AA
Boss on phone: Is this the driver who stole money from us and owes me some collard greens?
3451 North Shadeland Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana
Manager, shaking leg after a slapping fart: Oh, that had a little meat to it…
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Receptionist: Steve, you have to dial 8 before you send a fax, or it won't work.
Mechanic: Even when you dial long distance?
Receptionist: Even when you dial long distance.
Mechanic: But I sent a fax yesterday without dialing 8.
Receptionist: No, you didn't. I got annoyed and put it in the shredder after you walked off and left it beeping.
Mechanic: I guess thats why he didn't get the fax…
Receptionist: Yeah, I guess thats why.
Indianapolis, Indianapolis
Worker #1: Well, you’ll need to just put it in Lucy’s* box.
Worker #2: True… Is she here today?
Worker #1: Yes. Just go up to her office and put it in her box or ask her where else she wants it.
Worker #2: Her box is always so full! But I’ll dig around and find some room.
Bloomington, Indiana
Office lady: I’m off to the bathroom! I couldn’t get the poop du jour out before work this morning!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: please hold while I alert the media
Intern at computer, to self: I gotta get out of this relationship. She’s sending me pictures of jewelry.
3330 Founders Road
Indianapolis, Indiana
Applicant, explaining multi-year gap in employment history: I got sent to jail for stabbing a guy twelve times, but it was bullshit.
Manager: Oh yeah?
Applicant: Yeah. I only stabbed him six times; I just had two knives in my hand. It was bullshit.
Manager: Hmm. I see.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
